Wardrobe Planning

I’ve always been envious of those who have a clear vision of their personal (clothing) style and the appropriate edited wardrobe.

At any one time I will have a couple of different sizes of clothing and if not plentiful styles, more than one. Every time I think of having a huge cleanout I think ‘what if I lose weight, what if I change my mind’.

And I’m constantly thinking of ways I can streamline my wardrobe into its most perfect and purest form, without actually getting rid of anything.

I enjoyed Euro Chic’s post recently where she went through her wardrobe, listing under the bottoms which tops go. This seems a good place to start, and shoes too I think. Different shoes go with different bottoms.

My plan is this:

Pack clothing which is a touch snug but which I still like away, for hopefully some time close in the future.

Box up clothing which, regardless of size, I don’t like and isn’t my style. Give away.

Enjoy the rest, and go through the process of listing tops, bottoms and shoes.

I keep coming back to the French Chic style. It’s a very broad generic term and really covers whatever someone wants to put under that genre. What I choose to put it under are true classics, cut to a flattering fit. Pieces I have already which fit the bill are:

Flattering t-shirts in cotton with a tiny amount of elastane – in white, black and true red. They have a scoop neck (not ‘v’ or crew) with quite short sleeves which flare out a little, so they don’t cling and emphasise the upper arm. No one wants their upper arm emphasised.

Perfectly fitting jeans. Finding a perfectly fitting jean is a work in progress, and sometimes one pair fits better than another. Aesthetic Alternations wrote a post on J Brand and I have to, simply have to find out if they are available in New Zealand.

Flattering and slightly dressy tank/singlet tops. I have a couple that I wear when it’s really hot (it's summer here at the moment). They are sleeveless yet drape slightly over the shoulder so are more work-appropriate than a straight out singlet top.

Beige cotton knee-length trench coat, which I love. I bought it in Paris on my first and only-so-far trip in 2001. Paris is a really, really long way from where I live. Until next time I make do and daydream. And wear my trench.

Short beige cotton trench-style coat. Bought from a très-inexpensive store this year. I unpicked the label, sewed a few loose threads in and haven’t looked back. I wear it more than my long coat even though the long coat has a far better pedigree.

LBD. I wore this to my cousin’s wedding last month with red and white polka dot slingbacks, and a white leather handbag which has a red and white polka dot silk scarf tied around the handle. I asked my husband if I should wear my gold coin necklace or pearls with this ensemble. ‘Well of course the pearls’, he said.



Along with classic clothing goes the classic accessories:

A Cartier Tank Francaise stainless steel and gold small size watch which I have worn every day for the past ten years and will wear every day in the future until I take my last breath.

A small wardrobe of earrings – real pearl studs, faux diamond studs and small yellow gold hoops (about 1cm / ½ inch diameter).

A few necklaces – my main ones are cultured baroque pearls or a chunky gold necklace with French coin attached. I always have the quandary of ‘should I wear earrings and a necklace, and then how do I wear a scarf at the same time. My personal opinion of what I feel comfortable in is earrings and scarf or necklace and nothing else (but then I miss wearing earrings and a scarf!). I know, I have huge problems compared to others.

Shoes. I am happy to have a small number of pairs in rotation.

What actually made me think about my wardrobe as a concise collection was planning what to wear when I go away on a trip. When I travelled to my cousin’s wedding I flew there, so I had to take only what I would definitely be wearing (as opposed to driving there, when you can pack everything including the kitchen sink).

This necessitates a plan, what am I doing for each day and what should I wear, right down to accessories.

It’s actually really fun, and for a staycation we had a while back at the Westin hotel, I even took photos because I was enjoying myself so much. I love those magazine interviews where someone stylish shows their favourite things (they always include Diptyque candles, always!).

My Westin wardrobe was sort of like that, as it wasn’t just the going out clothes, but the lounge wear and what I was going to read. It gave me a flavour for the night we were staying there.

Below is my relaxing outfit, and at the top of this post is my clothing for the evening and the next day.


My plan now is to do this for my everyday wardrobe, which will be a little bigger, granted, but a cohesive look that I want to portray to the world.

Law Firm Marketing | Blogging Basics Presentation

I was lucky enough to be asked to give a presentation today at my local bar associations solo/small firm section meeting. We meet once a month and talk about things associated with being in and running a small firm. The presentation, as the title of this blog indicates, was about the basics of blogging.

I thought it went really well, though I was struck by a couple of things. Here are a couple of my thoughts.

First, there are a lot of people that are going out on their own. I think in this meeting, of twenty or so people in attendance, at least three or four were planning on starting a law firm. I think a lot of this, obviously, is predicated on the economy. No one has any choice but to try to go out and make some money on their own.

Second, there is a lot of disorganization out there. And what I mean by that is simply there are a lot of people out there that don't have much of an idea of where they want to go or how they want to get there. I would wager that if I asked most of the people in there what they were doing today, this week, this month to promote their business and be a better law firm, they wouldn't be able to give me a straight answer.

Make no mistake here with what I'm saying. I'm not really meaning to talk trash on them or anything like that - I applaud their having the guts to go out on their own. But what strikes me as almost criminal is the true lack of foundation most attorneys have coming out of law school when it comes to actually starting a law firm and running it successfully. Many of these people, unless they take some time to learn how to be successful, are out in a row boat without an paddles, just hoping the current takes them to where they want to go.

Third, and finally, there is a lot of interest in learning about marketing and learning about creating a successful law firm (at least there was from this group). At least, there was in this type of circumstance (when the seminar was set up for them to come). I get the funny feeling that there is a lot of thinking and a lot of reading and a lot of attending seminars, but there isn't a lot of doing.

I wish them all the best, told them about this site, and hope they visit. I also told them to email me if they ever want to talk, and I meant it.

On the completely opposite end of the spectrum from my talk, and a great example of what we should all be doing, was a webinar put on by Ramit Sethi. The speaker was Noah Kagan, a guy who's been involved with facebook, mint.com, and many other ventures. The topic of discussion was "hustling." It wasn't hustling in the negative sense of the word - getting stuff from people by lying to them. It was a discussion on doing what needs to be done, and doing it today, to reach your goals.

For example, if you want to talk to someone, don't go to their website, click on the support page, and send an email. Either pick up the phone and keep talking until you get the person you are looking for or do some digging and try to come up with the actual email address of the person you want to talk to. Sure, it's way easier to send the email to support and wait and hope, but if you want results, you've got a much bigger chance if you track that person down.

Bottom line, don't take no for an answer, get your ass out there and pound the pavement, and do whatever it takes to be successful.

Good luck!

Act as if you, as the author, have no inside information

(with thanks to M.H. Forsyth)

Why Thomas opened that door, we may never know. It could have been something he did instinctively, some remnant of an ancient primal urge. It could have been an impulse from the depths of his brain, a half-remembered childhood memory tugging gently at his conscious mind. It could have been something he had been planning for weeks, knowing long before now that he would open the mysterious door at the first available opportunity. It could be that he was not human at all, with none of the caution and instinct for self-preservation humanity brought, but a sophisticated android with a pre-programmed agenda for door-opening. There really is no way of knowing without some kind of detailed neural scan.

Maybe his name wasn’t even Thomas. After all, guessing someone’s name based on their appearance is often a matter of pure chance. Suffice it to say, there was a human, or humanoid figure of some sort, opening (or appearing to open – such tricks of perception are possible) something that looked very much like a door, but don’t hold me to that.

Chic Habits

Moisturise your ear lobes. Do this at the same time you moisturise your face at night. You don't need any extra cream or lotion, just use the little bit on your fingers.

My French beauty therapist included my ears in the facials I have had with her, both in terms of massaging and moisturising at the end. It felt amazing having my ears massaged. Since then I have included my lobes in my skincare regime. And they do look quite plumped up and smooth.

You don't want to be one of those little old ladies with withered, dried out, hangy earlobes do you? Non, you want to be the one with beautiful, compact rosebud ears, with pearl stud earrings in.

And I think, I think I read somewhere that massaging the earlobes reduces stress. I could just be making that up but if it's true that's just another reason to do it. Starting tonight!

Community and Rhythm--Two Keys to Producing a Book

It's deep winter here in northern New England, and I'm thinking about summer--quelle surprise!  As the furnace tries to warm my cold toes in their sheepskin slippers, I'm remembering a beautiful lake that stretched to the horizon, blue sky and warmth, and sitting in an Adirondack chair on farmhouse porch.  This wasn't just any farmhouse porch; it was on Madeline Island in Lake Superior, far from my normal life.  I had my laptop on my knees and I was shaping a scene from my next novel.  

Even today, when snow is blanketing the fields outside my home, I can remember how beautiful it was to be on retreat.  How the sun warmed my shoulders, how the breeze felt on my face.  I was far away from my normal routine, but I was in familiar territory with my fictional world.  I remember we were on our afternoon break from the class I was teaching, twelve marvelous writers with whom I was privileged to spend the week on this little island.  I imagined them at the beach down the road, watching the shimmering expanse of Lake Superior.  Or maybe they were in our classroom in the Milk House across from my farmhouse porch, working on their storyboards for their books.  Or maybe they were taking a well-deserved nap in their cottage, after having written late into the night!    


After the Madeline Island retreat was over--our week together that July--the twelve writers went back to their normal lives as I did.  But miracle of miracles, they stayed in touch with each other.  Nine formed groups of three for support.  This week I received packages in the mail from two of them:  complete drafts of their books!  Because of the encouragement and support from their retreat buddies, they'd actually put together complete manuscripts.  Yes, there was much work still to do, but the evidence was there.  I was so pleased. I am sure they will publish.  

Others contacted me after the retreat too.  Some came to my classes at the Loft or Hudson Valley Writers' Center and showed me their progress on their manuscripts.  This is no small achievement, writing a book, and the determination that was ignited on that little island fueled them during the fall and winter months.  Some emailed me that they were writing every day; others got stuck and came for help.  But few stayed out of touch.

We'd formed a community, and I knew how important that was.

The Tangible Benefits of Community and Rhythm
I've published twelve books, with my thirteenth coming out this year.  Each book has taken determination, it's meant conquering big learning curves in my own skills, it's asked my faith and belief when I had little to give. Over the decades I've spent as a professional writer and writing teacher, I've come to recognize two elements that are "make or break" for us book writers.  If we have them in place, we have a good chance of writing and finishing our books.  If we don't, the climb will be mostly uphill.

Community is first.  Book writers need each other.  We're a very particular breed of writer, in it for the very long haul.  When I wrote short stories, I could spend a year on one, but it was short.  It didn't boggle the mind like a three-hundred-page book.  Teaching book writers and writing this blog have been my effort to create community among our special breed.  Ironically, book writers tend to isolate themselves--which is just what we don't need to do.

Where is your community?  Do you have regular support, regular check-ins with others working on books?  It can be online, it can be in person or by phone or email.  You need this.  We all need this.  Otherwise, it's a short drive to feeling rather crazed by all those words.

I'm impressed at how often, after one of my classes and especially after the retreats or online classes, the groups stay in touch.  Not everyone, of course, but many people.  They recognize the need for support and reality checks.

The other aspect of writing a book that needs to be in place is a writing rhythm.  This comes from having a good writing practice, a regular time you touch in with your creativity.  Preferably every day, but if not every day, then at least three times a week.  That seems to be the minimum.

Why?  What happens when you stop working on your book, stop entering the "dreamspace" of your writing and the week goes by, then more weeks?  Well, if you're me, you have a lot of rumbling bad feelings about yourself as a writer, like you've broken some important promise to yourself and your creativity.  My Inner Critic gets very excited, starts telling me how little I'll amount to.  And my list of excuses gets pretty long.

It's a real balancing act, isn't it.  To have enough time and space to fill the creative well, so we have something to write about in the first place.  And to have a strong enough rhythm so we're putting what we get, onto the page regularly.

So my second question this week is this:  How's your writing practice?  Does it support a regular creative rhythm in your life?  Do you have a way to keep your attention on your story?

 One of my students from that Madeline Island retreat recently sent me this quote from a favorite writing book, From Where You Dream by Robert Olen Butler.  Butler speaks to fiction writers primarily, but I find his ideas are true no matter which genre I'm working in.  He puts into words the sobering facts about writing rhythm, and (despite my irritation--who is he kidding!!), I know from experience it's quite true.      

Butler writes, "Once you are engaged in writing a piece of fiction from your unconscious, it is crucial that you write every day, because the nature of this place where you go is such that it's very difficult to find your way in. It's pure torture. But even though it's terrible getting in, once you're in, if you keep going back every day, though it's still always daunting and difficult and scary, it's not nearly so much so. You may find--this is dangerous, but you may find--that you can take a day off every six or seven days. When you do this, you'll be grumpy and out of sorts and things will be uncomfortable, but after a day you can get back in. But you take two days off and you're on very thin ice. If you let three or four days go by it's as if you've never written a word your entire life. That doorway closes and seals itself up; you don't even know what part of the wall that door's in anymore. I don't care how much you've written in your life; those defenses are strong and they won't let you go there." 

How does this play out in my life?  I have a family, a teenager (enough said!), a full-time teaching job, and I still need to figure out how to write?  Butler is talking about the dreamspace of a writing project, how elusive it is, and that the easiest way to keep it vital inside is to write every day.   But in reality?  Sometimes I can do this; and I prefer to do this.  But sometimes everything hits the wall, and I can't.  So my writing rhythm certainly suffers.  I know enough now to sure I get back to my book within a day or two.  And he's right, it's torture to try and regain the lost ground, but I do it.  

That's where the community comes in.  My cheerleaders.  I reach out and talk about what's happening and they remind me:  Just sit down and write two sentences, you have time for two sentences.  Oh, how hard that is, the sitting down, the opening of the computer file, the terrible writing I produce in those two sentences.

And the next thing I know, I'm being called to dinner and I've written four pages without realizing it.  That's the magic.  

This Week's Writing Exercise
1.  In your writer's notebook, write, as honestly as you can, about your current community as a book writer. Who is out there supporting you?  If you don't have a community, what inside you is holding back from getting one?  Don't want to appear needy?  Afraid of rejection and ridicule?  Weigh what you've heard above with these feelings.  What new year's resolution could you make to get yourself what you may really need, to finish your book?

2.  Again, in your writer's notebook, freewrite about your current writing rhythm.  How strong is it?  How clearly does your book thrum through your every day?  If the beat isn't loud enough, what do you need to do to change that--one small step you can take in 2011?

These questions are not about beating yourself up for what you haven't done well/perfectly/like so-and-so who just published her book.  Now's a new year, let the old one die in the dust behind you and face yourself and your creativity as a new person with new possibilities. 

What would you like to do differently? 

Maybe you'd like to join me on Madeline Island this summer?  I'll be teaching two retreats this year.  So many from last summer are returning, one retreat week is almost filled.  But there's still room in the retreat that runs July 18-22.  If you'd like to learn more, please visit Madeline Island School for the Arts.  I'd love to meet you on that farmhouse porch.  

Starting a Law Firm | Time is of the Essence

I don't know if this is a common saying or not, but I find myself saying it a lot, "getting started is often the hardest thing to do." That statement resonates with me a lot because I repeat it to myself every day - right before I push off doing something I know I should do and I know will help my practice. So I wanted to talk a little bit about it today.

One of the fundamentals principles of starting a law firm is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being specific, fear of being laughed at (particularly when you decide to pursue novel marketing ideas), and, often, the fear of being unsure that you can provide the service you are promising to people. Fear, at least for me, often results in procrastination.

"Let's just get started on that on Monday." "It can wait until later." Until it finally falls of the radar screen and never gets done.

My actions and this way of thinking came to the forefront of my mind this week as I was reading a book. It's a business book. It has nothing to do with the practice of law. The premise of the book is that the idea of making money slowly over time is outdated and ineffective for the most part. To attain true wealth one must build something that has either great scale (it can be sold to a lot of people) or great magnitude (it is expensive, so even though only a few want it great wealth can be obtained). Think "Angry Birds" on the iPhone (scale) and selling real estate in Malibu (magnitude) for examples.

I am hesitant to tell you the name of the book because it's extremely cheesy. If it weren't for a direct recommendation from someone I trust on such matters, I never would have picked it up. It's called "The Millionaire Fastlane | Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime." I know, cheesy. It's written by MJ DeMarco (and just so you know, I'm not getting any money from this book for talking about it - I just really like it).

But the content is great. You've already heard about the premise - it's the execution of that premise that brought to mind this idea that time is of the essence. The book points out time and time again that you get nothing for free. If you want to be successful, you have to work at it. In the beginning, that might mean turning off the television or staying in on a Saturday night. But the payoff is worth it.

Put into words, traditionally our goals are events, as opposed to processes. It is the failure to define and understand the process that gets people in trouble and prevents them from achieving success. I'll give you an example from the book and then I'll give you an example from my firm.

One example from the book was the guys own story. He designed an internet limo reservation service, much like the attorney services you now see. You type in where you are, where you want to go, if you have any special needs, and it sends the lead to a few limo companies that then get back to the client with their bids. When the bid is one, MJ got a cut of that. He eventually sold the company for a hundred million dollars or something like that. That is the event. People see the event and think "why don't I just do something like that." What they forgot to recognize was it took several years of hard work to realize the event. Most people won't or can't commit to that process.

My example is my search engine ranking. I'm young enough to know the Yellow Pages are dead. If you are relying on Yellow Pages to get clients, you better start looking elsewhere. I also knew the Internet is essentially the new Yellow Pages, but with a catch - you can have the prime listing (the number one position) for free! All it takes is a little elbow grease and time. It took me a year of about working on that goal 2 hours or so a day to make that happen. But it happened, and I'm benefiting greatly because of it. But when people talk to me they see the event (1st spot for my search terms) and not the process (busting my ass to make it happen).

That's why I'll typically tell anyone that asks how I got to where I did. I know there is little to no chance they will actually follow through (though if they did they'd reap the benefits).

If you're still reading, congratulations, because I've finally made it to the point of this post - COMMIT TO THE PROCESS. Understand you are going to have to bust your ass to be successful and get started doing it today. I can tell you from personal experience that the sooner you start and the more you do it the easier it gets. There are things you can be doing today to make your law firm successful - do them. Don't put off the process hoping the event will magically appear - it won't.

Reader Poll

Some of you will actually read this all the way down and some of you aren't afraid to ask questions, so I thought I'd take a reader poll to answer something I've been contemplating - writing a book about starting a law firm.

I love the idea of how to books. They can answer your questions, get you started down the right path, and more importantly, keep you from making stupid mistakes that are only the result of not having done it before. The book I just reviewed was a how to book - it doesn't tell you what kind of business to start but lays out very succinctly a method for making money quickly and then using that success to leverage success in the future.

I know there are already books out there about starting a law firm - namely "How to Start a Law Firm" by Jay Foonberg. I know this because I own the book. It's okay, but in my mind it's extremely outdated. Foonberg I'm sure is a great guy, but he simply doesn't have the familiarity with technology that most of us do - it's a generational thing.

My book would cover all of the subjects I talk about here on my blog and then some. But here's the key - it would be organized in a way that you could actually find and have specific questions answered. Where should you really start? That's in there, at the beginning. What factors should you think of when getting office space. In the office space section. When you should you expand? How should you go about creating a marketing plan? All in the book.

So, here's my reader poll. Would you be interested in that and do you think others would be? In my mind I'd create the book, slap it up here on my site and sell it for like 15 bucks or something. You pay for it and it's downloaded directly to your computer. No publication costs, no marketing costs. You find me, you can buy it.

What do you think? I'd really like your feedback. Answer by posting a comment.

Reasons to Smile

I found this list in English magazine ‘Woman’. I liked all the tips so much I thought I couldn’t not share them with you.

Often these types of lists are clichéd and pointless (if that’s not too harsh). This one makes me want to smile more so I can be younger, happier, healthier and more popular!

5 great reasons to smile

1. Smiling makes us more attractive, so if you’re trying to impress, a smile will draw people in.

2. A smile changes your mood for the better – even if you don’t feel like smiling, it actually tricks the body into feeling better by releasing endorphins.

3. You’ll look instantly younger. The muscles you use to smile lift the face, making you appear younger.

4. It lowers your blood pressure. When you smile there’s a measurable reduction in your blood pressure readings.

5. Smiling relieves stress. It also helps to stop you looking tired, worn out and overwhelmed, so making you better able to cope.