What to wear at home

I have always been interested in how to live a life of style covering all parts of my life. I don’t just want to look stylish when I go out though and be a slob at home in a house that is dull and dirty.

I want to be like those magazine articles that describe what off-duty models wear, and also the ones that interview famous, fashionable faces.

These interviews ask many questions and the famous, fashionable person describes how their typical day might run, how they decorate their home, what they wear when they do their errands. There are little pictures scattered around of their favourite things too. Have you noticed there is always a Diptyque candle pictured in these spreads?

Often the stylish people are described as wearing a practical day-to-day outfit and a face scrubbed of makeup. Come on. They have spent hours getting ready!

One of the topics that interests me though is how to be stylish when at home with my loved one, to be comfortable and practical but sexy and not frumpy.

Once upon a time when I was first married (to my first husband) I remember in the winter wearing tracksuit pants with gathered ankles (and a gathered waist), a sweatshirt and socks at home. The only boxes it ticked were comfortable, practical (and frumpy). Not sexy or stylish.

No wonder that marriage bombed (I sound like I am taking marriage too lightly, I’m not, it wasn’t the track pants that were to blame, not entirely anyway).

Over the years I have been refining my home ‘lounge wear’ two ways: firstly by using items of clothing that are no longer good enough to wear to work or out (but are still in good nick) or by purchasing inexpensive but good quality basics for the express purpose of wearing them at home (first photo at the top of this post).

I haven’t bought anything for a while, and I was becoming in danger of slipping into frump zone. A friend gave me a pair of leggings that I thought I would never wear (due to having worn them in the 80s and apparently you should never wear a trend twice, and also the fact that my bottom is very round).

However, one day I slipped them on with a clingy long-sleeved t-shirt and found that not only were they much warmer than my wide-leg yoga pants (there was no air getting up the legs) but my husband’s eyes almost fell out. ‘Oh’, he said ‘those look very sexy on. You should wear leggings more, they really suit your figure and are so flattering.’

That was last winter. Now it is summer here and too warm for heavyweight full-length leggings. So I went shopping and spent not much at all for my new summer home loungewear.

Last night I debuted a pair of black leggings, ¾ length with ruched sides (at the hem), and a frog/grass green long singlet/tunic top. It comes down over my bum and almost looks like a mini-dress over the leggings. It clings becomingly around my ribs, without being skin-tight. I tried a larger size than normal but it just looked the dreaded frumpy. And a long top balanced out my short-waist.

(picture below, in new lounge wear, grey marle and green)

I was comfortable all evening, could curl up in the armchair like I imagine an off-duty model or actress might (that’s the thing that might inspire me to be slim, being able to curl up that way, because I put on weight around my stomach!) and my man’s first words? ‘That’s sexy’, said appreciatively.

Not frumpy! I am not doing frumpy at 41, I am doing sexy (sexy at home, just for him, I’m not going out to the pub in this just so you know). And I’m not exactly thin, just a good solid medium size. But with a comfortable bra on, one that I don’t mind wearing at home (the underwire doesn’t dig in, hoorah!) and the slimming qualities of the legging waistband I didn’t have any undesired lumps and bumps and could almost pass for slender.


I also bought the ruched ¾ leggings in grey marle, and ankle length pairs for Autumn in navy and black. My other singlet tops were bought in black and navy. Lots of mixing and matching can go on and I will always have a clean set.

I wash my black/dark clothing separately in ‘black wash’ too, which keeps it looking fresh and new. My legs encased in black leggings flecked with white is not good at all, but that will never happen. The thrifty me says ‘throw everything in together, then you’ll only have one wash’ (warm water, power cost etc), the French Chic me counters ‘don’t you want to look after your clothes properly and have them looking nicer for longer?’

So I do it.

An added bonus of feeling chic and elegant and Parisienne was being more mindful of the amount and quality of calories I put in my mouth. I was still comfortable, but aware of my figure. A winning combo for me.

Chic Habits

Lower your voice. In an interview about beauty, the iconic actress Jane Russell said ‘The director Howard Hughes took all of us – Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe and myself – and said, “LOWER YOUR VOICE!”… Lauren Bacall still has the lowest voice of anyone I know to this day. The actresses of today all have these high-pitched baby-girl voices.’

When speaking, I try to make my voice soft and feminine and was aware it could be a little high pitched and girly. After reading this quote, I now consciously try to speak with a lower voice. Not abnormally low that I would sound like a man, just lower in my normal range.

I have to say I feel more chic when I speak in a lower voice. After all your voice is part of the entire package you present to people. Along the same lines I also try to slow down my speaking voice, as I often trip over my words in a rush to get everything out. Not chic!

Becoming and staying slim

Back when I started this blog, just over a year ago, I wrote my first post giving up all my body secrets. How much I weighed at the time, my height, my calculated BMI and my dissatisfaction at this weight. At the time only two people, who did not know me in real life, did not even live in the same country as me, knew about my blog.

Over time, I have told my sister, mother, and one girlfriend about it. And many other people who don’t know me in real life started reading too. Even though my body was still bothering me, I felt shy about sharing it. I was also worried about jinxing myself too. Mere seconds (or so it felt like) after sharing my Countdown to 40 post, I fell off the healthy living wagon and was not as svelte and slim as I would have liked for my birthday.

For the way my mind works, I find it doesn’t work for me to have a goal time such as a birthday, Christmas, wedding or summer. I just rebel against it straight away. When I was married three years ago I was a little slimmer. I had it in my mind I would look lovely in the photos and then, relaxed. I slipped back into some old habits and as a result every time I look at our wedding photos all I can see is a podgy stomach in my satin dress. The poor posture didn’t help matters either.

The trouble with me is that I am not a naturally thin person, who happily chooses the low-calorie option. My sister has a current obsession with carrots and can’t get enough of them. I, on the other hand can be obsessed with any of the following: popcorn (non-natural), potato chips, ice-cream, etc. Do you see the difference here and how it would translate to the hips?

In the past I have dieted with Weight Watchers and achieved great results. Unfortunately my maintenance follow-up was not so great. Rather than continue on with my healthy eating, I would assume that once I was skinny, I would just stay that way. Sadly, that is not the case. By slipping back into my old habits, the weight would creep back on and the 5kg (11 pounds) I had been so diligent about saying Au Revoir to, was back with me. Bonjour!, it would say.

We all know that the ideal French woman (and indeed many real ones) are very disciplined with their caloric intake, thus ensuring they stay their ideal weight and are making the most of their lovely clothes, which are all the same size, not varying from 10 up to 12-14 as mine are.

Even though I said to myself ‘no more Weight Watchers’ after finding it too restrictive, earlier this year in March I found myself turning up to a Weight Watchers meeting near work. I decided that I would try the new points programme and told myself I would continue going to meetings until I reached my goal weight of 57-60kg (125 to 132 pounds). I was over 70kg (154 pounds) at the time, almost exactly the same as listed in the first post of this blog.

Clearly I needed a little external discipline to help me along as I hadn’t lost anything myself. And if I had, it was back. Now, I don’t buy this ‘perhaps that’s the weight you are naturally’ business. Not for me anyway. I could shovel in all sorts of crap foods. Sweet or salty snack foods are designed to make you want more. And I wasn’t happy with how I felt or how my clothes (the ones I could fit) looked.

I have found that you can train your palate, and that the more you have of something, the more you want of it, whether that something is a big, crunchy, plain salad, or a large bag of jellybeans. Even knowing this, and knowing how those two things make me feel (one, vibrant, alive and quenched, the other, a hot headache and craving for sugar) didn’t help me make good decisions all the time.

Rather than rebelling against discipline, I have decided to look at it like money. If you spend more than you earn, you go into debt. In my younger years I did just that, but now, for many years I happily have savings building up, and not many problems resisting purchasing temptation.

Not so with food. Obviously I regularly went into debt with food and drink, and had the not-so-chic figure to show for it. I now look at my Weight Watchers points as a budget to spend. And so I won’t go hungry or over-spend, I have to use it wisely.

I can happily report that the new Weight Watchers programme is working really well for me, and seems much easier to stick to for the long term. I can have mini blow-outs every week if I want (and I usually do) and still decrease on the scales. This is the way to keep me interested. If it’s not fun, I don’t want to know about it.

I never attended meetings before, so that may be helping too. By saying to myself I am committed to attending until I am a certain weight, meant if I didn’t want to waste my money, I’d better do something about it.

I am happy to let you know I am now 6-7kg (13-15 pounds) lighter than I was, and at least halfway to my goal. I have had to buy a few new items of clothing, because my jeans are falling off me. Some have been put away to get rid off as they are ridiculously huge, and some I am able to cinch in with a belt for now. Jeans that I formerly could not sit in for more than five minutes at a time.

So I guess the purpose of this post is to face the fear and do it anyway. My fear was if I wrote about my weight loss, I would jinx it once again. Now I know this is silly. The books I have been reading lately, old books I have had for a long time (a few listed below) reminded me that I make up my mind, I make my reality. I wrote down a quote the other day which really spoke to me:

‘I know what I like, I know what I don’t like. I know the way I want to live, and I make it happen that way’. – Anthea Turner

Current reading:
Inspiring Messages for Daily Living by Dr Norman Vincent Peale
Seeds of Greatness by Denis Waitley
10 Days to a Great New Life by William E. Edwards
The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr Norman Vincent Peale (I’ve been listening to the audiobook in the car)

How others see us

Serving people over a glass counter as I do most days of the week, I notice small details. Not in a fact-finding way, just in passing, it seeps into my consciousness. It verifies someone’s image to me in an unthinking way.

There seem to be two types of women as far as I can see.

Picture if you will, a harassed and unkempt woman. She opens her handbag and searches for her wallet through the used tissues and receipts. Her hands are dry and nails perfunctory. She might be wearing wedding and engagement rings but they barely manage to bring beauty to her hands.

She curses as she opens her wallet and discovers her cash-card is missing. Panicking to herself what pocket she might have tucked it into she discovers it floating around in the bottom of her bag. I see this more often than you’d think. This type keeps every receipt from the past six months in her wallet. Some bags and wallets literally bulge with paper and coffee cards. And the offenders don’t necessarily have young children either (when I know you have to carry around everything under the sun).

Here is our other type of lady (the one I try to aspire to). I have served a couple of these in the last few days and their image stays with me in an altogether more pleasant and serene way.

A handbag that looks either new-ish or well looked after is placed on the counter. A pair of moisturised hands with manicured (polished or bare) nails reaches in and pulls out a tidy wallet. These women never seem harassed or rushed, even if they might be. The wallet is not cracked and it is not dirty. She opens it up and chooses her card.

While she is paying, I have time to notice that she has a lovely soft fragrance on, light makeup, hair styled. She is wearing becoming jewellery and colours that light up her face, often with a soft scarf draped around her neck. A couple of our customers that come to mind have lovely gentle speaking voices and smile often.

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to have a permanently annoyed look on their face, even when the situation is neutral or good? Not these lovely creatures. Their faces are soft and pleasant.

Think about how you give yourself away when next out shopping. As for me, I plan to clean out my bag and wallet. I do it on a semi-regular basis but it’s due for another. It is probably these feminine ladies at the counter who are the catalyst for a bag-clean at my place.

My favourite way to bag-clean is find a nice big space of carpet at home and tip everything out. Hold the bag upside down and shake it. It’s best done when you are due to vacuum, not after. Consider everything that goes back into the bag. Some things that I carry around ‘just in case’ only come out when I do this. Perhaps I will have to be more ruthless next time.

Amended to add: Please do not think I am being judgemental. Reading back through this post perhaps I come across that way. At times I have portrayed the first woman, and, to add insult to injury, I am rude to the person serving me because I am in a grump or have been charged the wrong price (again) at the supermarket.

When I post these observations it is not to make others feel bad (I really hope you don't take it that way), but to show how others inspire me to be a better version of myself.

As my sister wisely pointed out, most of us are a mix of these two women and usually would sit somewhere in the middle. We all have off days, and we also have things in our life that others do not know of, sometimes they can be major in the case of illness or unhappy life changes. And then picking someone to bits because their bag is messy seems rather pathetic.

And of course if you have a child or three in tow, my hat goes off to you just keeping it together. Not having children I don't know how difficult it is to get everything done in a day (and have time for hand-cream).

My blog is a place to be light-hearted and pretty and I hope you take my posts that way.

Image of Ines, who would surely have a very neat bag, from keepitchic.com

The Gospel According To Coco Chanel

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 22 December 2009

I just received this book from the library and am so excited to have it to read when on holiday over Christmas. It looks like a good contender for my own personal library wish list. I was even more excited to discover a website of the book which has a great excerpt from the 'On Style' chapter (a small part of it below).

And if you haven't already found it, read about my Great Aunt who nursed Coco Chanel in the late 1960s whilst working at the American Hospital in Paris.

For nearly a hundred years, Coco Chanel has been synonymous with every piece of clothing we consider stylish — and with lots of stuff to which we never give a thought. Throw open your closet door and you will find the spirit of Chanel. If you have a collection of jackets for tossing on over a pair of jeans, the better to look as if you’ve actually dressed for the occasion — as opposed to simply parked the lawn mower, given your nails a once over with the nail brush, and walked out the door — that’s Chanel.

Any black dress is a direct descendent of Chanel’s 1926 short silk model. A knee-grazing pencil or A-line skirt? Chanel. Jersey anything? Chanel again. She gave us real pockets, bell-bottoms, twin sets, drop waists, belted cardigans, short dresses for evening, sportswear including riding breeches, and the need to accessorize madly at all times. Anything that’s got simple lines, skims the body, is easy to move in, and affords the loading on of a lot of jewelry is Chanel.

So too is anything in which prettiness trumps quirkiness. Chanel ran screaming from the latest fads. She considered them to be expressions of cheesy grandstanding, and, anyway, they rarely held to her standards of simple elegance. Thus ponchos, stirrup pants, or backless dresses cut in a manner that reveals your thong are definitely not Chanel.

If you own anything that has emy husbandets (and you are not in the armed forces), an unnecessary amount of fabric, ill-fitting arms, or Hulk-size shoulder pads, it is not Chanel. Anything related to the grunge revival, featuring ripped tights that look as if you’ve barely survived a mugging? Uh, no. Anything in which you cannot breathe, sit down, or get into a car without flashing your lady bits—well, I don’t even need to say it.

When Chanel observed that “not all women have the figure of Venus* yet nothing should be hidden,” this is not what she was talking about. (To clarify, she meant that the loose, long T-shirts we reserve for fat days do nothing but make us look fatter.) * Actually, a lot of us do; what we don’t have is the flat-chested, slim-hipped figure of Chanel.

The Chanel aesthetic is like the force in Star Wars, surrounding, penetrating, and binding together the universe of fashion, now and forever.

As I write this I’m wearing a pair of J. Crew boy jeans—even though they’re square through the hip with straight legs and a button fly, they are cunningly cut to prevent your looking like an appliance box—and a chocolate brown, long-sleeve cashmere T-shirt. Both pieces descend straight from Chanel’s once-shocking ideas that with a smidge of fancying up, menswear could be easily retooled for the ladies and soft, body-defining fabrics (some of which was normally used for underwear) could make the simplest garment seem luxe.

Excerpt from The Gospel According to Coco Chanel - Life Lessons From the World's Most Elegant Woman by Karen Karbo

One-of-a-kind

My friend Mary creates the most exquisite jewellery. It is often made from salvaged/reclaimed items, as with this necklace above. In a previous life, the main component was a silver-plated teaspoon. I love the way the bijoux charms nestle into the spoon bowl.

She has recently opened an Etsy store, and I thought you might like to know about her beautiful and sometimes unusual one-of-a-kind creations.

Mary is one of my chic mentors (she is very talented and has great taste), and also my aromatherapy masseuse. She lives in a tiny and gorgeously decorated inner-city cottage with her husband, and is European in so many ways. Mary walks most places, wears accessories with style and panache and puts together charity shop finds in her own chic way.

Click on the link below to see the rest of her current range at her Etsy store:

Mary Crosby Design

Frugal Times

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 4 November 2009

I read an article in the New Zealand Herald last week because the headline caught my eye – ‘luxury’, ‘fashion’ and ‘frugal’ in the same sentence? It was in the business section which I read faithfully (and often first), in my defence. I am happily shallow, but also aware of the world out there.

As I read on, it occurred to me that the ‘news’ is what French, and European women in general have been doing all along.

‘Luxury labels suffer as fashion for frugality thrives.’

‘Women this year opted to ‘shop their closets’ and accessorise to update their wardrobes rather than buy new clothes. When they did buy new clothes, women tended not to snap up fancy pieces that could only be worn on certain occasions, but rather evergreens’. ‘ Frugality is fashionable, even for the wealthiest consumers.’

Interestingly, cosmetic and fragrance luxury brands have been hit too, with consumers trading down to supermarket and chemist names. I have heard the French luxury cosmetic company I used to work for is struggling for sales here in New Zealand. After leaving there, and my generous staff discount, not to mention staff product allocations (free), it was hard to pay retail afterwards, and I have been trialling simple, inexpensive and often local brands with good results.

Something good to come from the hard times we are experiencing currently is the wealth of new books out (which of course I reserve at the library, rather than purchase straight away) on the topic of stylish frugality. It's actually trendy to be frugal nowadays. Five years ago I was definitely out of vogue.

When I looked for these books even a few years ago, the only frugal titles featured nerdy looking families in bad clothing (no offense to the Economides, I love their book America’s Cheapest Family and I am in awe of how they live their life).

Nowadays chic young women write books like The Thrift Book: Live Well and Spend Less by India Knight and The Spend Less Handbook: 365 Tips For A Better Quality Of Life While Actually Spending Less by Rebecca Ash (the first one is better, but get both if they’re at the library) and many, many more as evidenced at Amazon.

Does anyone sense the irony at the rash of books out which want you to purchase them in order to be frugal? I even saw a book at a shop in town which professed to help you stop shopping. But you have to buy the book and then stop shopping apparently.

I also find it very interesting that being frugal almost automatically means you become greener as well. Reusing, recycling, repurposing, using less etc. It all knits together perfectly.

Two other books which I really enjoyed pertaining loosely to this subject are Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Lustre by Dana Thomas (very illuminating, I was glued to it and often would audibly gasp at the audacity of those nasty big luxury brand conglomerates!) and Affluenza by Oliver James (rather dry and wordy but interesting nonetheless).

Image of luxury home in France from homesgofast.com. I decided against purchasing this chateau in the spirit of frugality.

Style Experts

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi, 9 November 2009

I was lucky enough to watch a live show featuring Trinny and Susannah last month at my local mall. There were a lot of people there and it was standing only. Even so, with impatient legs stuck in one spot, the hour they were on stage flew by. These upper crust English girls earn their money. They were hilarious, motherly, helpful, compassionate and comedic all at once.

I don't remember exactly what Trinny wore, but I fell in love with Susannah's outfit. It was a knee-length light navy-blue dress, with a wide-ish belt in black. I remembered that I read French women wear navy and black or brown and black together. I could never get my head around navy and black, but now I can.

Women looked vastly different and for the most part better after a simple change of clothing and a ten minute hair and makeup. Their most emphatic message for the audience was to be fitted for a new bra, or at the very least shorten the straps of your existing one to give the girls a lift (I did this as soon as I got home!).

Another message for us was to not wear black all the time. I am the opposite to this though. I haven’t worn black for so long, save for a few black tops and a shirt. I don’t often wear them as I feel they drain the colour from my face and create black circles under my eyes. I am wanting to find out ways to reintroduce black into my wardrobe that is flattering for fair colouring as I think it is very chic if worn properly.

Scarves and necklaces are a good way of adding light around the face, as are earrings (pearl or diamond – my pearls are real, my diamonds are faux). Also being more careful with my makeup, adding more mascara, healthy natural pink toned blush and perhaps a sheer red lipstick to brighten up the complexion. These are some of the ways I am returning to a small amount of black.

Trinny and Susannah’s main rules for shopping are: Make a list of what you want to get before you go out shopping. Look in your wardrobe and make a list. Work out your budget. Work out how much money you have. Think ‘what is it I can never find in my wardrobe that I need’.

The last statement is the one that I think is the best. It’s easy to buy multiples of the pieces you already have, but to find out what it is you always miss having, that’s the hard question.

A favourite quote from Trinny and Susannah comes from one of their many books. I think it was the one about changing your life by changing your clothes.

‘Keep your hand out of the cookie jar. Resisting temptation may be the key to great personal style.’

And another:
‘The best beauty treatment is personal size reduction.’

This is what I am working on right now. It is often only a few (well, OK, five) kilos between feeling chic or not!

Image from zimbio.com

My Style Philosophy

Originally posted on La Vie En Fifi in two parts, 7 and 13 October 2009

I would often scoff at those lists of ‘10 pieces’ espoused by fashion (or rather ‘style’) experts. But thinking now, I have most of the items on them. Beige cotton trench coat. Check. White cotton fitted shirt/blouse. Check (times many). Little black dress. Check. Check. (a long and a short one). Classic watch (Cartier Tank Francaise in stainless steel and gold. I will die wearing this watch – hopefully not before my nineties). Dark jeans, aged jeans. Plain white Converse All Stars. Simple jewellery that I wear every day. Striped Breton tops. So I am in fact that list, walking around.

I used to think I needed to try harder to understand fashion and update my look each season. Then when I read European women (and French women particularly) buy good quality pieces they wear for many years, sometimes twenty, I was thrilled. I had found my style sisters.

I actually find Vogue magazines not as appealing as I used to (the fashion pages anyway, I enjoy reading the beauty and lifestyle articles) and can’t remember when I last bought one.

And I often feel my best in simple, classic but chic clothes, with fresh, light makeup and unfussy hair. I can think better. On days when I have made an effort to try a different style or go for the tousled hair look, well the sooner that day is over the better. I get nothing done and feel horrid and frumpy all day.

I found an article I had torn from Cleo magazine over twenty years ago. Entitled ‘50 must-have classics’ numbered 1-50 (I always love a list) with photos to match. Sure some are dated, but surprisingly few.

50 must-have classics, dated May 1988

1. Filofax
2. Kilt (as good as this list is, I just can’t fathom this one, even though my family has Scottish heritage. Just where would you wear it?)
3. White t-shirt. An enduring classic, only the shape will change as you purchase new ones over the years. Then they used to be literally square shaped with sleeves, now lovely and fitted perhaps with a v-neck and a hint of lycra (not too much though) in the cotton.
4. Chambray shirt. This really takes me back to the 80s, but I have seen chambray shirts in the shops recently. Yes really.
5. Levis 501s. I think these were perhaps the first of the ‘it’jeans. Mind you, before these were Calvin Kleins and I remember fondly my Skin jeans, which looked a lot like today’s True Religion ones in dark denim, straight legs and thick white stitching. I coveted, and then loved once I had a pair of, Skin jeans because of their white bulldog clip hanging from one of the front belt loops!
6. Raincoat. Specifically a Burberry type trenchcoat and the example shown is a beige/bone colour. Yum.
7. Argyle socks.
8. Brogues.
9. Hermes scarf.
10. Kelly bag.
11. Fair isle sweater.
12. Denim jacket.
13. Lacoste polo. I have just bought two Ralph Lauren polos for summer, in white and pale pink.
14. Brown loafers.
15. Bandanna
16. Akubra hat. The magazine is Australian!
17. Sailor top. The word Breton was mentioned. Of course.
18. Clutch bag.
19. Leather gloves
20. White shirt
21. Leather belt. Medium width, neutral colour.
22. The watch. Simple is the key – a clear face with a sturdy band.
23. Terry toweling robe. Presumably for wearing at home!
24. Ray Ban sunglasses – both Wayfarers and Aviators are shown. Funny how both are back in fashion, but maybe they never really went away?
25. Twin-set
26. Leather skirt
27. Rolex
28. Blazer/jacket
29. Cowboy boots
30. Lacy underwear
31. Black turtleneck
32. Pearls
33. Perfecto leather jacket – the classic biker style in black as worn by James Dean and Elvis Presley.
34. Riding boots
35. Speedo swimming costume.
36. White lace handkerchief.
37. Tuxedo
38. The Little Black Dress
39. Pumps
40. Charm bracelet
41. Evening bag
42. Scarf in lambswool or cashmere
43. Man-style pyjamas
44. Hoop earrings
45. Cameo
46. Lacy blouse
47. Russian wedding ring, first created by Cartier
48. Beret
49. Plimsolls – ones shown look to be white canvas Bensimon or similar
50. Evening gloves

I knew I had kept this article so long for a reason. I just couldn't bear to part with it.

And of course, the visuals to complement the list. Forgive the low-res-ness. You can click on the images to see them slightly bigger.


Feast your eyes on 1988 folks. When I was photographing the pages my husband looked over and said 'wow, those are some 1993 fashions'. When I encouraged him to guess again, he guessed correctly on only the second go! That's my boy. The Universe really did listen to me when I asked to meet a nice boy 'just like me, only male' even down to the same Libran birthday.


I hadn't planned to keep this article for (gulp) 21 years; I found it when going through some things of mine I didn't even know still existed at Dad's place a year or two back. I was so tickled that I liked the same kind of style then, I filed it in my 'personal style' clear file (everyone has one of those, right?). Even at 17-18 I was drawn towards the same kind of classic Euro style.

The Fashion Uniform

Have you noticed that the top fashion designers and editors wear their own uniform of sorts?

No matter what's happening on the runway, there sits Michael Kors in his black top and aviators. In The September Issue I couldn't help but notice Anna Wintour dressed in basically the same silhouette each day - fitted bodice, little skirt, cardy and chunky beads.

Giorgio Armani is famous for wearing a black or navy t-shirt and black pants. The new French Vogue editor Emmanuelle Alt (above) apparently wears her uniform all the time too - skinny leg trousers with blazer and heels.

If you care to google image just about anyone high up in the fashion world, you'll notice a lot of their photos look very similar. Of course there will be those who wear something cutting edge and very different each day, but I believe they are the exception rather than the rule.

They are obviously onto something, and they're doing it without telling us.

What they're telling us is to look to the trends each season, but what they're doing is wearing classic shapes that suit their body and feel comfortable, and make them feel like them.

Rather than look to the models for inspiration, I actually prefer to take note of what the tastemakers are wearing. This observation makes me feel better about choosing to have a small wardrobe of simple classics, and looking to refine it over time.

There is a great article here which talks about what to wear as you get older, and has a fabulous quote from Mr Armani:

"At every age, what makes you have a great sense of style is the ability to listen to your own instincts and to choose what makes you feel comfortable and confident. Being elegant is not a matter of age but of attitude."

Secrets of Style: French Chic

If you need some real-life French inspiration, take a few minutes to play this video. French women are born with it. The rest of us need a little assistance.

Cue Marjorie...

The Perfect Watch

Janet of The Gardeners Cottage has shown us her perfect accessory – the perfect black flat. Generously, Janet offered the rest of us to share ours. She asked us 'What is your perfect accessory?'

When asked a question one must always go with their first instinct.

What you see above is the answer for me - the Cartier Tank Francais watch, steel and gold, small size.

I’ve always loved a good watch, and seem to have mostly veered towards a rectangle or square. I never went looking for a non-round watch, but when I bought the Cartier, realised as well as this one, my previous two watches (inexpensive ones) had square/rectangle faces. After coveting the Cartier Tank Americaine for most of my 20s, when it came down to it I chose the Tank Francais for my own 30th birthday present.

I’ve worn it for 10 years now, every single day, and it will hang on my wrist until the day I return to the earth. And it will be worth every cent. To me, a watch is not just useful, it can be a beautiful piece of jewellery too.

On the Cartier website they don’t call it a watch, it’s a timepiece. Of course.

Thanks Janet for a great idea. I look forward to reading others posts on their perfect accessory.

Hermes Sale

If you are a lover of the French Chic way of life as I am, you will likely have enjoyed reading Stephanie's former blogs Bonjour Madame and C'est Si Bon when they were around. Stephanie always had fun, chic and thought-provoking topics she posted on, and is an extremely inspirational declutterer. Such focus! And if you can remember the pictures of her petite home sparingly decorated with French style antique furniture... Le swoon.

Recently Stephanie wrote a fantastic guest post on My French Corner about the editing of her scarf collection. She talks about putting almost her entire scarf collection on eBay. But for a few weeks before that (as in now), she has started a temporary blog, Editing My Closet, to sell them to anyone in the US who is interested.

You simply must take a look, even if just to window-shop. Stephanie has many beautiful pieces. Enjoy!

Editing My Closet

Wardrobe Planning

I’ve always been envious of those who have a clear vision of their personal (clothing) style and the appropriate edited wardrobe.

At any one time I will have a couple of different sizes of clothing and if not plentiful styles, more than one. Every time I think of having a huge cleanout I think ‘what if I lose weight, what if I change my mind’.

And I’m constantly thinking of ways I can streamline my wardrobe into its most perfect and purest form, without actually getting rid of anything.

I enjoyed Euro Chic’s post recently where she went through her wardrobe, listing under the bottoms which tops go. This seems a good place to start, and shoes too I think. Different shoes go with different bottoms.

My plan is this:

Pack clothing which is a touch snug but which I still like away, for hopefully some time close in the future.

Box up clothing which, regardless of size, I don’t like and isn’t my style. Give away.

Enjoy the rest, and go through the process of listing tops, bottoms and shoes.

I keep coming back to the French Chic style. It’s a very broad generic term and really covers whatever someone wants to put under that genre. What I choose to put it under are true classics, cut to a flattering fit. Pieces I have already which fit the bill are:

Flattering t-shirts in cotton with a tiny amount of elastane – in white, black and true red. They have a scoop neck (not ‘v’ or crew) with quite short sleeves which flare out a little, so they don’t cling and emphasise the upper arm. No one wants their upper arm emphasised.

Perfectly fitting jeans. Finding a perfectly fitting jean is a work in progress, and sometimes one pair fits better than another. Aesthetic Alternations wrote a post on J Brand and I have to, simply have to find out if they are available in New Zealand.

Flattering and slightly dressy tank/singlet tops. I have a couple that I wear when it’s really hot (it's summer here at the moment). They are sleeveless yet drape slightly over the shoulder so are more work-appropriate than a straight out singlet top.

Beige cotton knee-length trench coat, which I love. I bought it in Paris on my first and only-so-far trip in 2001. Paris is a really, really long way from where I live. Until next time I make do and daydream. And wear my trench.

Short beige cotton trench-style coat. Bought from a très-inexpensive store this year. I unpicked the label, sewed a few loose threads in and haven’t looked back. I wear it more than my long coat even though the long coat has a far better pedigree.

LBD. I wore this to my cousin’s wedding last month with red and white polka dot slingbacks, and a white leather handbag which has a red and white polka dot silk scarf tied around the handle. I asked my husband if I should wear my gold coin necklace or pearls with this ensemble. ‘Well of course the pearls’, he said.



Along with classic clothing goes the classic accessories:

A Cartier Tank Francaise stainless steel and gold small size watch which I have worn every day for the past ten years and will wear every day in the future until I take my last breath.

A small wardrobe of earrings – real pearl studs, faux diamond studs and small yellow gold hoops (about 1cm / ½ inch diameter).

A few necklaces – my main ones are cultured baroque pearls or a chunky gold necklace with French coin attached. I always have the quandary of ‘should I wear earrings and a necklace, and then how do I wear a scarf at the same time. My personal opinion of what I feel comfortable in is earrings and scarf or necklace and nothing else (but then I miss wearing earrings and a scarf!). I know, I have huge problems compared to others.

Shoes. I am happy to have a small number of pairs in rotation.

What actually made me think about my wardrobe as a concise collection was planning what to wear when I go away on a trip. When I travelled to my cousin’s wedding I flew there, so I had to take only what I would definitely be wearing (as opposed to driving there, when you can pack everything including the kitchen sink).

This necessitates a plan, what am I doing for each day and what should I wear, right down to accessories.

It’s actually really fun, and for a staycation we had a while back at the Westin hotel, I even took photos because I was enjoying myself so much. I love those magazine interviews where someone stylish shows their favourite things (they always include Diptyque candles, always!).

My Westin wardrobe was sort of like that, as it wasn’t just the going out clothes, but the lounge wear and what I was going to read. It gave me a flavour for the night we were staying there.

Below is my relaxing outfit, and at the top of this post is my clothing for the evening and the next day.


My plan now is to do this for my everyday wardrobe, which will be a little bigger, granted, but a cohesive look that I want to portray to the world.

30 Chic Days – Day Seventeen

Day 17: Start a personal style journal

One of my 'books' I enjoy reading the most is my style journal. It has been grown over the years with torn out pages and advertisements from magazines, printed out blog posts and website articles, handwritten quotes, photocopied book passages and more.

The image above is an example of a snippet.

Interestingly, there are very few pictures of clothing in my style journal, and if there are they are quite classical. It's always been words and feelings that get my mind and inspiration going rather than pictures. I think that's why I don't get fashion magazines often, but string some evocative words together and I'm in heaven.

I don't read my style journal every day, but save it for every so often. That way it doesn't get stale. I throw away pages sometimes and add in new ones too.

Another reason why I don't have tons of pictures in my style journal is that I consider personal style more than just what you wear. I love reading articles or interviews of famous (and chic) people in which they detail the way the live.

What they do with their time, what they read, little things like perfume worn and their views on varying topics to name a few. Personal style to me is the whole package, and by creating my own style journal over time, it gives me a reflection back of what's important in my life.

30 Chic Days – Day Four

Day Four: Wear a Beret

On a morning when it’s rainy, windy and cold, I pull on my beret. I have two traditional felted wool ones – in black and camel. I wear the camel one more often as it’s softer on my colouring.

Not only does it keep my hair tidy and frizz-free, it keeps me warm, and it lets me add a bit of Parisian style to my outfit. Sabine, my ideal French girl is thrilled she’s been let out for the day.

A woollen beret is less expensive than you’d think too.

Don’t worry if you think you’ll look like a French caricature. Loads of (really normal) people wear them. I even saw an old man walk past in one recently. He may have been French though.

That’s your homework for today. Go out and find yourself a beret for the winter. You will be amazed at the French jaunt it adds to your step.

Edited: I changed the image to one of me on holiday in Queenstown a few years ago. That perfect fake looking background is actually real. Gosh Queenstown is a beautiful place. My beret is pulled waaaay down, to keep my ears warm. You can see the snow on the mountains, right?

Loving Kate's Look

I think I have a crush on Kate Winslet. I saw photos like these in a magazine last week chronicling the story of her and her new boyfriend. I really, really like her new look.


She looks so youthful and stylish. I adore the clothes she is wearing too: very simple, relaxed and chic, and in the colours I love (non-colours really – black, denim, grey, navy). The magazine I read reported she had lost 4.5kg / 10 pounds. She looks slender and young, but not emaciated. In addition, her makeup is very natural, fresh and polished, and her hair is unfussy. She looks younger than she used to I think.


I admit, after seeing some photos like these for the first time last week I wore a black suit jacket over my jeans and grey knit top to go out in the weekend.


Is it weird to admit I looked up her details? I am happy to say she is a similar height to me and we are both Libra (never mind that she's five years younger). That must mean it's OK for me to copy her look.

Fashion Homework

I’ve been doing my fashion homework lately. Normally with clothing I would just buy the odd thing here and there and add it to my wardrobe. I always get a bit stuck in summer with what to wear (we’re just coming into spring in the southern hemisphere).

My autumn, winter and spring look of jeans, a fitted shirt and flats or heels doesn’t quite work when it’s too hot. I tend to move into jeans, a summery top and more open sandals (and am still a bit warm).

In trying to branch out in what I wear I have been doing two things:

- Actually reading the fashion pages in magazines, taking note of the looks I like and where the clothes come from (mostly I just skip the fashion pages), and

- Observing what other people are wearing. Whenever I see someone stylish, with clothing on that I think I would like to wear, if possible I compliment them on their look and ask them where they got a particular item from. So far people have been happy to tell me. I do this is a conversational way, not in a ‘whip out my clipboard’ way.

I am planning on doing a few shop visits where I take the time to check out their stock. Since I’ve been saving money for so long now and wearing what I have, this is new for me. Thanks to the stylish people that have come across my path I have some new places to browse through.

I have also considered of some favourite pieces in my wardrobe, taking a pattern from them and having a go at making my own. I have two blouses which are fitted and have bracelet-length sleeves. I love them to bits mainly because they give the look of a fitted shirt but are made of a fabric which doesn’t need ironing. The shop I bought them from doesn’t do them anymore. I’m going to wear one into a big fabric store and see if I can get something similar, then have a day with my sewing machine.

We’re not lucky enough to get Brooks Brothers in New Zealand, so I’m a bit reluctant to order online one of their wonder shirts (small considerations like knowing what size and style to order). Maybe I’ll get brave and risk it. Our dollar is quite good against the US at the moment.

For those of you who dress more casual (working in a shop I think I wear clothing like a stay-at-home or work-at-home mother, much less corporate than when I worked in an office), what do you wear when it’s really hot? I’m not so much into three-quarter pants, shorts or skirts, so that just leaves me with longs. I thought perhaps a lightweight denim or linen?

Should I be reconsidering skirts? I just never know what top to put them them.

Maybe I should be summer-ising my winter uniform?

Instant Chic

I was thinking about what makes me feel instantly chic and came up with this list.

- Sleek hair tied back, rather than wearing it down and wavy

- Putting handcream on and pushing back cuticles

- Touching up my makeup: a little powder on the nose, comb eyebrows, brush hair if it's not tied back, touch up lipstick and spritz on some fragrance

- Dressing in neutral colours

- Wearing heels (they don't have to be very high) rather than flats, with dark denim jeans

- Giving myself an attitude check: less grumpy and more positive

- By the same token, thinking chic: imagine I am a chic Parisienne going about my day

- Relax my face and soften my mouth into a small smile, rather than a normal non-smiling mouth which can look turned down at the corners

- Wearing red lipstick with not much eyemakeup except for plenty of black mascara, or alternatively a little more around the eyes with light pink/beige lip gloss

- Wearing the classics: dark denim, neutrals, crisp white shirt, 'diamond' stud earrings or hoop earrings, beige cotton trench coat

- Tossing on a scarf

What can you add to this list?

The Importantance of a Shopping List

I had another style revelation. That’s two in one week! All my reading must be sinking in. But it’s not enough to read about it apparently, I marinate it in my head and then the lightbulb eventually goes on and I think I’ve thought of it first.

My ‘problem’ is this (and if that’s my biggest problem in life I’m doing OK). I walk into a clothing store, there are hundreds if not thousands of garments everywhere, and I become overwhelmed. The colours, the styles, the choice of pieces... I don’t know where to start, end up browsing the sale rack, buy something identical to what I already own and go home.

Or buy no clothing and purchase a candle or some hand-cream because it’s easy, I always use them and I can never have too many (they are consumable). So now I have a hand-cream ban until I use up the ten tubes and pots I have.

Yesterday in the city I visited our lovely, old yet modern department store and because they are having their half-yearly sale it seems nearly everything is 50% off. I stared at the sea of racks with their big red sale signs, couldn’t think where to start then turned and walked away.

I couldn’t face going through all those hangers. It would have taken me hours (and I only had about thirty minutes before I wanted to head back to work). And then there is all the trying on. And do I really need anything anyway?

On my way out, after spraying myself with Estee Lauder Pleasures and putting on some organic Rose handcream (one must always make the most of walking through a department store) I understood what I have been told before. I need to know what I am looking for before I go shopping.

It’s no different to grocery shopping. Imaging going into a big, bright, busy supermarket with no clue what you need. You would be overwhelmed by the huge array of goods on offer. With a list, it’s easy.

I remembered I heard this advice from Trinny and Susannah when they toured here last year. Their main rules for shopping are: Make a list of what you want to get before you go out shopping. Look in your wardrobe and make a list. Work out your budget. Work out how much money you have. Think ‘what is it I can never find in my wardrobe that I need’.

All I can really think of now that I would like is a crisp white shirt, very tailored with French cuffs perhaps. One that fits me correctly across the shoulders and doesn’t pull across the bust.

And I also am wondering if white is the best colour for me. Even though I love the look, it can be too harsh for my colouring. Winter white is better for me but who ever heard of a crisp winter white shirt? Then I wondered if perhaps I could do pinstripes instead of plain white: white/cream, white/grey or white/pale blue.

I want to go to a specialist shirt/suit tailoring shop for this, and I am saving the money for it. This is the type of thing you don’t find in an end of season sale.

Once I realised/remembered the shopping list thing, I felt quite relieved. I don’t need to wade through all the clothes in all the stores in all the suburbs. I feel calm, and in control. Exhale.