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Stepping-Stones to Publishing: The Pros and Cons of Self-Publishing

My long career as a writer has taken me through the three different types of publishing:  agented manuscripts published by large houses, unagented manuscripts published by small presses, and self-publishing.  I've learned a lot from each venue.  I enjoyed working with my agents, I liked the book tours and promotional backing that used to be automatic with publishing with a major publisher.  I enjoyed the editorial help from small presses and the feeling that you were more than a byline.  And I loved the autonomy and product control that comes with self-publishing.

Each avenue has its pros and cons.  These days, I find that self-publishing is often the best option for writers working on their first book.

The media is coming out with many success stories about self-publishing.  One of the biggest stars is Amanda Hocking (read about her here) who sold so many of her self-published e-book, she was picked up by a major house and got herself a six-figure advance.  But Amanda had already made her millions under her own steam.  She knew how to write something good, and market it.  That seems to be the formula no matter which avenue you choose.

It used to be that writers only had to be good writers.  Write a good book and the publisher would do the rest.  Now, publishers want to know how you are going to market your own work--whether you have a platform, if you're prepared to broadcast your book on social media like Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr.  Which is one of the reasons I'm so sold on self-publishing--I do all the work of selling my book anyway, so why not keep control of the product and make the most money for my creative efforts?

USA Today ran an interesting article on self-publishing e-books recently.  It's no longer the province of authors who can't get a contract.  The stigma that's always surrounded self-publishing (formerly known as vanity press) is dissolving.

What Do You Need to Know about Self-Publishing?
Lisa, a reader who is working on a book project, sent me an email with some good questions about the self-publishing options she'd explored.  She wants to make a good decision and there are many options out there now.  Lisa writes: 

Until I was twenty-two years old I never consciously considered that I had been without a mother, even though my birth mother died shortly before my third birthday. My dad had remarried before I was five and I only remember my stepmother as my mother. However, I believe I was always searching for something, whether I knew it or not. As I became acutely aware of the fact that what I was missing and searching for was her, I began gathering as many stories, pictures, and information I possibly could. People have been very generous. 

My original goal was to create a biography so that not only myself, but also my children could come to know who she was. It has been a magnificent journey, but it did not turn out as I had envisioned. The whole experience has been more of an odyssey worthy of Greek mythology as I set out on a quest for knowledge but was subsequently sent on many unexpected detours, presenting challenges through which I learned more about myself as well as valuable life lessons. 

As a result, my project has become a memoir of my journey through the experience, with the addition of many photos and a collection of my favorite stories shared by her family and friends.

My main goal is to have enough copies printed for my children and my mother’s family, but so many people have encouraged me to share my story on a larger scale than I originally intended. I believe that self-publishing is the way to go. I have researched online, and have also spoken to about 5 self-publishing companies. They all have stated that they believe that they can handle the amount photos that I wish to incorporate and that “we would be a good match.” 

I am wary of being taken advantage of and want to make an educated decision. Each has their positives and negatives in the categories of cost, features such as editing, layout, cover design, and the royalty offers.

Lisa lists these questions:

1.  How can you tell if an offer is a good deal and actually fits your publishing needs? 

2.  What are the top three qualities to keep in mind when choosing a publisher? 

3.  What are the biggest pitfalls a novice should avoid? 

4.  Is one royalty structure better than another, i.e., more money up front, but better royalty structure, or less up front and then less in royalties later? 

5.  How important is help with layout and book cover design?

Specific Questions for Your Publisher

When you're looking at possible online publishers for your manuscript, you need to consider several aspects:  quality of product, cost, and ease of working with the publisher.  You need to research how they pay you when copies are sold (the royalty agreement), how the rights are handled, and whether the publisher automatically places your book in the two large wholesalers--Ingram (for bookstores) and Baker & Taylor (for libraries).  

Over 60 percent of books are purchased online, so you'll also need to be sure your book will appear in the large online bookstores, such as amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com, and the indie distributors such as Powells Books (powells.com).  

When I began researching publishers, I first asked friends who have self-published.  The best recommendations were for three companies:  LightningSource (which is owned by the wholesale distributor, Ingram); CreateSpace (which is owned by amazon.com); and iUniverse.  I also talked with writers who had published with Lulu.com and loved their customer service but not the quality as much (one person said the cover peeled off her printed book after a few months).

Then I went on the websites for each of these three and looked at the terms.  I liked CreateSpace because of the ease of getting paid each month.  It's also important to read the contract terms for specifics like who will hold the copyright for your book.  This is very important in the long run.

After I'd chosen a potential publisher, the next step was to put my book manuscript through the tasks that a regular publisher would normally take care of:  professional editing, typesetting and interior design, and cover design.  I needed to prepare my manuscript. 

Preparing Your Manuscript

Many self-publishing companies offer a package deal for the manuscript preparation, but I wanted to work with people I knew and trusted.  I'd been an editor myself for over thirty years and I had very high standards.

So I approached a former student who'd worked for a major publisher for many years; I liked her thoughtful understanding of how books were built and the importance of editing carefully.

She agreed to take on my manuscript.  Was I ever glad!  She saw things I'd missed and suggested rearrangement of some of the chapters.  We worked by email and postal mail, me sending her chapters in batches, she returning them to me with her red pencil marks.  It took many months to implement all her suggestions and produce a final revision that I was very satisfied with, time I hadn't really budgeted, but I revised my timeline and it was worth it, 100 percent.

Next was the interior design.  Because I've worked in publishing for years, I know that, despite good skills with desktop publishing, I could never churn out a book design on my own computer that I would still love in ten years.  I remembered a wonderful typesetter I'd worked with years before at one of the publishing companies where I was an editor.  I knew she'd gone freelance, so I approached her and asked her to typeset a sample chapter for me.

We worked for a few weeks by email to make the chapter closer to what I envisioned.  Eventually, I was so satisfied with the results, I negotiated a contract for her to typeset the entire book interior.  She made the book look professional, and I was able to add in wider margins and pull quotes, exercise boxes, and other extras I wanted.  Again, very worthwhile.

I traded services with two proofreaders to make one more run through the manuscript after typesetting.  They found a total of 32 errors which I hadn't seen--even thought I'd read it through carefully SO many times myself and I've been trained in proofreading.  This step was also very valuable to me.

Finally, the book cover.  I knew how important this was, so I found a designer and hired them to send me some ideas.  Again, money forked over up front but oh-so-worthwhile.

You can certainly choose not to do any of these steps.  They may not be essential if you are only planning on using your book to share family memories with family members.  But each of these will make your book more professional, more apt to be read by others, and more satisfying ten years later when you pick it up again to read yourself.

Royalty Structures and Self-Publishing

Traditional publishers used to (and some still do) offer an "advance" on royalties.  This was paid to the author before the book was published, then paid back as sales came in and royalties accumulated.  Royalties are the quarterly or semi-annual payments that publishers make to the author based on a percentage of sales, and standard royalties are 7.5% of sales. Sometimes this is net, sometimes it's gross sales.  The publisher also holds back an amount of royalties for bookstore returns and discounts to the wholesalers, so it's very hard to actually calculate how much you'll be getting.  For more information, click on this helpful website.

In self-publishing, things are simpler.  You pay a flat fee to have your book "set up" for printing; this is part of your upfront costs so the printer can format your pdf into a digital file to print your book.  Most charge under $300 for this set up.  That's it.  (Remember that some self-publishing companies offer a package that includes the editing, typesetting, etc., above, but the set-up fee is not part of that.) 

Next, you get a proof--a sample, usually in pdf format, that shows you how the book will look.  Once you approve that, a couple of weeks go by and then people can start buying your book as an e-book or as a printed book.

When do you get paid?  Each time a sale is made, your royalty account gets a deposit.  Most self-publishing companies pay out royalties each month--a process I found very helpful, like getting a paycheck--but this can vary so check their websites carefully.  You can choose to receive your royalty directly into your bank account or by check.

How much do you make for self-publishing royalties, compared to traditional publishing?  I've found it's about 5-6 times as much per book.  The online publisher takes a percentage, but it's a lot less than a regular publisher takes.  For instance, I make about $1.13 per copy of my novel (published by a small press) and about $5.49 per copy of one of my nonfiction books (self-published by CreateSpace).  In both cases, I have had to market the book myself.  Do the math. 

Even with the upfront costs of getting my manuscript prepared, I've made more with my most recent self-published book than with my last traditionally published book.  Plus, I got to keep control of the product.

All the avenues of publishing are worth pursuing, and which is the best one for you depends on what you want from the experience.  As Amanda Hocking has shown us all, fame and fortune do not just come from traditional publishing anymore. 

Your Weekly Writing Exercise

1.  If you're curious about self-publishing, give yourself an hour to do some research online.  Visit the main sites for CreateSpace, Lightning Source, and iUniverse, to start.  Maybe check out Lulu.

2.  Also visit some of the hybrid publishers, which select certain books to self-publish each year and guide writers through the process.  Two I like are Beaver Pond Press and Epigraph.  

Dangle your modifiers

Caked in dung and warm to the touch, Susie cleaned her horse's hooves with a careful precision. She stared out across the plains and wondered where Lorenzo was now. Long and hard, he had set out on a journey which could only lead to death. Wondering whose death it would be, an eagle wheeled across her vision as she sat, lost in thought. She stood up and patted her horse's flank, tail flicking away a cloud of flies. Four newly-cleaned hooves planted firmly on the ground, Susie hoisted herself up onto the animal's back and prepared to face the journey ahead, unpredictable and full of danger. She dug in her heels and the horse responded. With an enthusiastic whinny, she felt him find a comfortable rhythm and then, tired but determined, the miles flew away under her.

Dead or alive, she would find Lorenzo before he found her, cowering in some bar, most likely, like the worm he was - paint flaking, full of cheap beer and cheaper girls. Desperate and amoral, she would recruit whatever lowlifes she could find and, following her blindly, guide them to him. Smashed off their hinges, she would lead her hired guns through the saloon doors and, playing cards like a man with years left to live, she would see Lorenzo sitting there. Spitting hot metal, he would see her gun barrels flare for a moment and then, falling to the ground in a bullet-riddled heap, she would know that he was finally gone.

Add [additional] detail by using [square] brackets

[Mysterious outlaw] Susie Navajo saddled up her horse, making sure every [leather] strap was [sufficiently] tightened before swinging herself [athletically] into the saddle. The dew on the [sedimentary] rocks around her glinted [with a strange and brittle magic] in the morning sun. She sniffed the air. This [she thought to herself] would be as good a day to die as any.

Moments later, Susie [Navajo] was urging her horse on, the two of them thundering [towards death or glory, though neither knew which [she, because the future was chaotic [and upredictable], he, because he was a horse [and so incapable of [that level of] abstract thought]]] across the [red] plains. One way or another, they would find [her arch-nemesis] Lorenzo and this thing - this nightmare [although not a literal nightmare] that had haunted her [although not literally haunted her] for her whole adult life - would be over [although not literally over, but more of that later].

How Do You Finally Get Your Book Finished (and Published)? Passion and Determination--An Interview with New Author, Atina Diffley

Atina Diffley, an organic vegetable farmer in her former life, is now an organic consultant, author, and public speaker. Her just released memoir, Turn Here Sweet Corn: Organic Farming Works, is called "a must read love story, a lesson in entrepreneurship, a master class in organic farming, and a legal thriller."

Atina showed up at one of my writing workshops at the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis a few years back. She had a book in mind.  She was passionate about the topic, and--from her determination to make others passionate about it too--I could tell she would be successful at writing her book.  Although she'd written quite a bit, she needed help structuring and developing the material.  As an experienced organic farmer, she wanted to share what she knew, but in memoir form.  Her life, and her farming, were and are very intertwined.

From that first workshop, Atina got fired up.  She liked what she learned about book structuring.  And over the next year or so, I saw her again in a workshop, then another.  She began bringing along her writing friends to learn about structuring their books.

Flash forward to last Friday, when I was back in Minneapolis teaching at the Loft Literary Center.  It was the same two-day book-structuring workshop that Atina had first attended.  She wasn't there.  But two of her  friends were.

Before class began, they handed me a book.  Atina's just-published book:  Turn Here Sweet Corn.  University of Minnesota press had accepted it, and they'd done a great job publishing it.  On the back cover were strong endorsements, and I've heard since the class that Atina is getting good reviews and interviews.  As an author, she's launched.

I felt very privileged to share in her writing journey, from early days of crafting her manuscript to finally glory.  This happens fairly often in my classes, I'm happy to say.  One of my favorite moments is when a former student stops by and hands me their published book or sends me a copy by mail.  I'm so happy to celebrate with them.

So I asked Atina to share her writing journey, from seed to sprout to published memoir.  What did she learn along the way that might help other writers who are dreaming of a book?


When did you begin writing this book--and why was it so important to you to write?

I thought about writing a book for over a decade, but I’m glad I waited, as crucial parts of the story hadn’t been lived yet. It became a priority for me in November 2009.

There are so many reasons I wrote Turn Here Sweet Corn. To pass on the support and guidance I have received to other women and farmers, for personal healing for my family and myself, to bring more people into the conversation on food and farming, but the most powerful—the subconscious driving force that kept me on task—was the ecological collapse I experienced in the development of our first farm.

This was burning to be shared.

Any obstacles you encountered along the way?

Mostly myself. I had everything—all the support and teachers I needed. Sometimes self-doubt would interfere. I had to learn to trust.

What was the biggest turning point in your writing process?

Two weeks in, I wasn’t accomplishing much at home so I went off alone to write for two weeks. I didn’t really know what the book was about beyond being a memoir based on my farming experience. I started to write and it was like my life was on a Rolodex card file and each card contained one moment. I couldn’t figure out which belonged in the book.

 Painful memories piled up and became emotionally exhausting. The thought of publishing made me feel completely exposed and vulnerable. The card file spun faster and faster, and I became so overwhelmed that my body developed bursitis of the right shoulder. I was in excruciating pain, close to vomiting and passing out.

I spent the next week doing nothing but emotional work and by the end of the week the bursitis was cleared and I was one determined and committed writer.

I later learned in a writing class that the body sometimes acts as a “gatekeeper” to prevent a writer from going into areas that are emotionally painful.

What would you do differently, based on what you know now about book writing?

I LOVE the island method I learned in Mary’s class "How to Plan, Write, and Develop a Book." It solved my problem of not knowing what the book was about. Once I learned to trust the process and my subconscious to bring forward the needed storie,s the islands literally poured out of me.

 I couldn’t write them fast enough. Next book I’ll start right in on writing islands.

Any advice to first-time book writers?

Believing in ourselves is the most powerful thing we can do. When I sit down to write, I thank my inner critic—her name is Sylvia—for all she’s done, and I assign her the role she has in my present work. (I learned this from Mary Carroll Moore in a class at the Loft Literary Center.) During freewrites Sylvia is sent on vacation. While line editing she is appointed the responsibility of “specific” and “constructive” feedback. If she’s having a bad day and insists on self-defeating criticism, or her ego is raging out of control offering talk shows with Oprah, I send her packing.

How did you land your publishing contract?

Every writer’s dream! Turn Here had a fairy godmother, food writer Beth Dooley, who not only mentored me during the writing, she also connected me to her acquisitions editor, who just happened to be a freezing-corn and canning-tomato customer of ours from twenty years ago. I never even wrote a query letter.
The University of Minnesota Press was fantastic to work with and many of the staff had eaten our produce over the years so they had a personal connection. May the stars align again for my next book!

What's it feel like to have your book out there? 

The thing I felt most vulnerable about--not having any control over the reader’s relationship with Turn Here or their interpretation of my writing--has turned out to be the greatest experience! Readers are telling me how the book is affecting them and of parallels in their own life. I am receiving stories of their own loss and grief, and celebration, in connection with land and nature.

Their relationship with the book has brought me deeper understanding of the inner story of Turn Here and of my own life!

What's the reader response so far?

Readers are loving it, and it is meeting my goal of a compelling read for people from all walks of life! But there may be some liability issues. The story is so engaging that readers are reporting irresponsible behavior. One person turned a kettle on high, started reading, and forgot until hours later when smoke was pouring out of the kitchen, another reported forgetting to pick his kids up from daycare, there have been marital disputes about who gets to read, and one reader laughed so hard, and for so long, that she couldn’t drive and was late for work.

How has writing your book affected your life?

I’ve heard that writing is cathartic, but writing Turn Here has transformed me! It gave me the structure to completely reevaluate my life experiences and what they mean. In the process I learned that bad things happen but me, I’m fine, in fact I’ve thrived.


Anything else you'd like to share with others who are writing a book?

The world needs your story. Trust yourself and the process. Make a commitment and let the writing happen.

Your Weekly Writing Exercise
1.  Evaluate your commitment to your book, especially your passion about or interest in its subject.  Does it meet the level required for the journey to publishing, as Atina describes?  Why or why not?

2.  Visit Atina's blog and see what else she has to say about her passion.  Think about starting a blog of your own.  If you already have a blog, post a comment at the end of this article and share your blog's URL with readers.

3.  Interested in attending the same book-structuring class that Atina took?  You can enroll now in my 12-week online version of the class--take it from your home, do the same exercises, and get feedback each week from myself and your fellow book writers.  Check it out at How to Plan, Write, and Develop a Book.  Sponsored by the Loft Literary Center's online program, this class begins the week of May 14.

4.  And read Atina's article on the Loft's blog, Writer's Block, at .http://www.loft.org/writersblock/?p=2769 .

Over-use hyphens

Susie squinted un-easily into the sun-set. She had a feeling that some-where out there, Lorenzo was coming for her.

‘God-damn you,’ she murmured to her-self. Almost un-consciously, her hand drifted to her gun-belt and rested there, wait-ing. It had been nearly four-teen years now. May-be four-teen-and-a-half. Hadn’t she earned her-self some res-pite? How long could a man be drive-n by that kind of hat-red? How long be-fore it bur-ned a-way, leaving only ash-es be-hind? There was no-thing - ab-sol-ute-ly no-thing - she would-n't do to be able to a-band-on her past and be-gin a-fresh some-where el-se.

‘F---,’ s-he mut-te-red.

Continue to sell books from a box in your garage

Dear readers,

Okay, that’s it for the book extracts – I still have some copies left, so drop me an email at writebadlywell@gmail.com if you’re interested.

All the best,

Joel

Rely on your back catalogue #9

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

Empty Glass

A New Approach to Self-Help

Introduction

Hello. My name is Dr Naïan Fedler. You don’t know me yet, but over the next two hundred and thirty-nine pages, you and I are going to go on a journey together. Along the way, we’ll encounter many obstacles. Together, we’re going to overcome those obstacles and end our journey exactly where we began, but wiser and with cold air in our lungs.

If this sounds familiar, it’s because what I’ve just described isn’t just the way this book works; it’s the way life works for each and every one of us. The story I’ve just outlined is one that you’re bound to recognise because it’s the very story you’re living right now – the story in which you are the main character. Also, I mentioned something similar in the introduction to my last book, Think Yourself Lucky, so you might remember it from there.

When you set out on the journey of life, you don’t know what to expect. Partly this is because you’re very young at the time, but partly it’s because life is unpredictable. In fact, I’d go one step further and say that life isn’t just unpredictable: it’s random. That’s a very hard word to fully understand, but it’s one that we’ll keep coming back to again and again in the course of this book. When you say the word “random”, a lot of people think of something like a game of dice or a lottery, but the truth is that the world we live in is far more complicated than we can possibly understand. Imagine a lottery where, instead of choosing numbers, you have to draw a doodle on a piece of paper and if your doodle matches precisely, millimetre for millimetre, the winning one, you get a prize that could be anything from eternal life to instant death. Except that you never get to see the winning doodle, or find out if you’ve won, until it’s far, far too late. And the rules change with every passing second. And no one’s quite sure if they’re actually playing or not. Or whether the game even exists.

If this sounds daunting, that’s because it is. The universe is infinitely complex and you can never hope to understand any part of it, let alone change any aspect of it in any meaningful way. Understanding this is the key to my approach, and the subject of this book’s first chapter, You Are Nothing.

In order to form a sense of self-worth, you must first recognise that there is not really, in any appreciable sense, such a thing as “self”. Far from being an autonomous and self-aware agent of physical action, you are little more than a ragged bundle of chemicals lost in the infinite chaos of an unintelligible universe. Seen from a perspective of unbiased objectivity, you are no more significant than the chair in which you are sitting, the air you breathe or the rotting orange peel you throw in your compost bin. In fact, one day you will become compost right along with that orange peel – your physical body will decay and become indistinguishable from the mulch under your feet. This is the subject of chapter two, You Are Dying.

In my professional capacity as a counsellor, a lot of people come to me looking for guidance. Often it’s because they feel lost, because they feel scared or because they’re worried that they lack direction in life. Over the years, I’ve thought about these problems and come up with a few answers. In a very simplified form, they go like this:

1. You are lost.
2. You should be scared.
3. There is no “direction” you can have other than the slow, inevitable march towards death and, thereafter, oblivion.

Sometimes, people are resistant to my approach. They say, “Naïan, surely there must be some kind of purpose to life? Or if not a purpose, then at least a way for me to stay afloat in this vast, bewildering sea of meaninglessness? Or, if nothing else, a way for me to get out of paying for this session?” But to them I say, “You, my friend,” (this is merely a turn of phrase – I am fully aware that the people I counsel are clients rather than friends and I would never transgress the boundaries of that professional relationship for both clinical and legal reasons) “are like a clumsy Egyptian boatman.” I then leave a gap of precisely two seconds before revealing the punchline: “You’re in denial!” This little joke helps to relieve the tension, but also serves to illustrate a valid psychological point. To deny the fundamental lack of meaning at the heart of all things is to deny a universal truth, and anyone trying to lead their life with that kind of contradiction in the back of their mind is going to end up, like our maladroit African friend, in some pretty deep water.

Some people try to solve the problem of meaninglessness by relying on the idea of a higher power. For some it’s a god or gods, for some it’s a commitment to furthering human understanding, for some it’s a devotion to altruistic works. Whatever form this delusion takes, my diagnosis is the same. I call these people “head-in-the-sand-birds” (the term “ostriches”, which I used in my previous books, has since been registered as a trademark by Dr Fenton McWheely, the author of How Not To Grieve). By denying the pointlessness of every aspect of existence, these people are setting up a destructive dichotomy, or destrotomy, at the centre of their spiritual lives. If they came to me for advice, I would tell them this: it is only by accepting the fundamental emptiness of all things that you can learn to give your life the value it deserves, which is none. We’ll discuss this in greater depth in chapter seven, Nothing To Live For.

As you read this book, you will come across ideas that challenge you and exercises you may find difficult. My approach to self-help is, I will be the first to admit, radically different from anything that has come before, but this is what makes it so powerful. Whether you’ve picked up this book as a result of bereavement, unemployment, marital breakdown or simply a lingering sense of dissatisfaction with life, I guarantee that by the time you finish reading it, you’ll be seeing things in a whole new way. Next to the dark emptiness of a soulless and chaotic world, your problems will simply fall away into the background. When you and I reach the end of our journey together and turn the last page of chapter thirteen, Nothing Means Anything, So Don’t Worry, I promise you that you’ll be a new person: a clear-sighted, rational and, above all, fundamentally empty person.

Thanks for reading.

The End

I started this blog nearly two years ago as an addition to the blogs I read. Some that I really enjoyed had shut down and others had changed direction, as is natural. I thought to myself ‘what if I wrote a blog I would like to read’. So I did.

As time goes on though, life becomes busier and I now have a wish to spend less time in front of the computer and more time doing what I love.

Believe it or not, what I most enjoy is privacy and anonymity. I like spending time by myself. I am not on Twitter or Facebook or anything else other than this blog. So I think this next step will be good for me.

I really appreciate those of you that have read my blog and also comments you have left. I have learnt lots and made many new friends.

Merci, au revoir and be chic.

Fiona

The Timeline of a Book Project--How Long It Can Take, What to Do at Each Stage

D.W., a reader from the West Coast, emailed me this week with some great questions about the timeline of a book project and how a writer can best assess her needs for feedback at any stage.  D.W. just read my new book, Your Book Starts Here, and is working on her first manuscript.  "Thank you for your wonderful book on getting published," she wrote. "It has been the biggest help.  But I have a couple of questions."  And she listed them:

1.  At what point do I spend the money for a professional editor?
2.  Does one wait until they find an agent and let the agent guide them or should it be done before the agent sees the work?
3.  When does one get their work copyrighted? Is that part of the work an agent helps with also?

D.W. is right to ask these questions.  Books have particular timelines, and they need different things to help them grow at different stages.

For many years--and the last eight books I've published--I've worked with a successful timeline for building a manuscript and moving into the editing, then the submission process.  Of course, it varies with each new book, because books, like babies, have their own plans.  Some take a lot longer than you expect; others are very fast because you've done so much of the "gestating" before you put fingers to keyboard.

Writers know that a lot of book writing happens solo.  You, your words, the dream worlds you're occupying, are not shared with others in the beginning.  No editors are involved because there's not a lot to edit yet.  This is as it should be.  You're gestating something very fragile, easily destroyed by other eyes.  I love the support of other writers and creative artists, including professional editors, during the writing journey, but if I share my work too early, their voices blend too easily with my own and confuse me.

I need time to listen to my own thoughts, let my own ideas emerge.

Unlike other creative artists who give themselves this important time to explore and "birth" their idea before sharing it with the world, lots of book writers have publishing in mind immediately.  I know very few new artists who paint with the goal of a gallery, few beginning musicians who are composing for that recording contract.  But writers tend to be motivated by the starry dream of seeing their name on the cover of a published book.  Or by the hopeful royalties that will let them quit their day job.

Give yourself the dream time, first.  Books aren't that different from paintings or a musical composition or a dance--there needs to be open, goal-less space in your timeline.  Space for just writing, for exploring your book idea, before you imagine an audience.

Truthfully, you must enjoy a dedicated one-to-one conversation with your book, before you are able to produce a publishable manuscript.

The essence of your book, the story only you can tell, comes from the unstructured part of the creative self.  This part loves the dream time of incubation.  Go into it and live in it for a while.  You'll gradually get a sense of what your book is really about.  Its voice is unique to you; you must have time and interior space to find it.

That the first successful step on the timeline:  to have a chance to explore.  A sabbatical from the goal of publishing it.  For this stage, I advocate the "island writing" method promoted by writers like Ken Atchity and Natalie Goldberg, where you allow yourself to scribe a collection of random scenes or ideas, then begin to structure them.  You allow yourself to be in the "process" of writing your story, exploring it and getting deeper into your material.

Moving into Conversation with the Reader
But at some point, you do need to think of the book as a "product" as well as a way for you to personally explore ideas and images.  At this second stage, welcoming the reader into the conversation is essential.

This is where we begin to work with structure.  The book moves out of the dreamy place forever--and we structure the islands so that the reader can actually understand the dream too. 

I find we cycle back and forth between these two stages--dreamtime and structuring--as we create the manuscript.  For instance, we may run into an obstacle or a big question--and we're not sure how to proceed.  So, it often helps to return to the exploration of the material, do some research or create a collage--a wonderful exploration tool used by many professional writers--to see which direction is best.

This two-part experience takes however long it takes.  I always advise getting a lot written before structuring, then pull the bits and pieces (islands) together into a rough draft before editing too much.

When It's Time for Editing Help
With my first books I didn't worry about when to bring in an editor.  I didn't need to hire one, because back then (the 1980s) publishers had in-house editors.  Part of my book contract was assistance from an editor.  They were trained to help me see the forest instead of just the trees, the whole book instead of just my individual words.

This doesn't happen as often anymore, except at some small presses.  Agents can help a writer with editing, but rarely the early stages of editing--only the final polish.  So it's up to writers to decide when their manuscript is holding together well enough to warrant an outside editor.

I encourage writers first to learn some editing skills and try to edit their own material.  How do you do this?  Take writing and editing classes.  Learn the areas you need better skills--characters, for instance, or dialogue or balancing your information with enough illustration (anecdotes) if you're writing nonfiction.  Study good books to see how those writers did it.  Read (a lot!) in your genre.


When I've polished as best I can, I work with my writing partner, my writers' group, to see what else needs attention.  I learn my blind spots as a writer.  Many things I'll be able to fix myself if I can see them. 
Then, when I've done all I can, I find a professional editor for hire, someone who is not familiar with my every word and can give me a clear perspective that peer reviewers can't.  I work with a professional editor for each book I publish.

Again, writers ask:  Don't agents give this kind of help?  Some do.  But only after the manuscript is very clean (well edited) or the subject matter is so compelling or the writer is so famous or well-connected, it's worth the agent's time to dive in.  Most agents I've known will not take on a manuscript that hasn't been through editing.  And usually, you only get one chance with an agent, so it's best to take care of the editing yourself, before you approach an agent.

Before Submitting--Do You Need to Copyright Your Manuscript?
Some writers feel it's important to register their unpublished manuscripts with the U.S. Copyright Office (click here to find out more).  For me, in all my years in publishing, I've found that few people steal other writer's works.  Of course, there are exceptions, but the reality is that publishing is a very small world, especially with the internet.

I've been happy to just add a copyright notice on my works that go out to readers either electronically or in print, just by writing (c) [year] [my name] and All rights reserved on the bottom page of the story, article, essay, column, or manuscript.  This serves as a warning and has protected me well without the hassle of registering the work officially.

Publishers take care of this process, as well as getting the book its ISBN, etc., and if you self-publish, you'll be guided by the online printer as to the steps to register yourself.

These are the different stages in my book writing timeline.  Be comfortable at the stage you're in now, give it the time it deserves before moving too fast to the next.  Your book will benefit.  

Your Weekly Writing Exercise
1.  Brainstorm on paper a possible timeline for your book project.  Ask questions like:
*  Where am I now in the process, based on what I just read?
*  With my work, family, and other obligations, how much time can I devote to my book each week?
*  Where would I like to be with my book in a year?
*  What editing skills can I learn in the meantime?  What is missing in my editing toolbox?

Having Beautiful Skin - part 2

Following on from my last post about what I put on my skin on a daily basis to make it the happiest it can be, here are some of the things I do to pamper my skin from the inside. It's not an exhaustive list but just what seems to work for me.

- Drinking water all day long, and hot tea. I go between English breakfast with trim milk, green tea and relaxing herbal teas.

- Eating fresh fruits daily and a handful of raw mixed nuts. Also a couple of prunes and some dried apricots are consumed most days at breakfast.

- I eat good fats. Don’t be afraid of eggs, avocado, olive oil and I even think butter is good for you in appropriate amounts. I drink soy milk because cow milk seems to cause sinus problems with me but I think a mix of plant fats and limited amounts of animal fats are great for the skin.

- I try to eat something raw or at least fruits and vegetables with every meal – a piece of fruit or two with breakfast, salad vegetables with lunch and steamed vegetables or a salad with dinner. Lots of different brightly coloured fruits and vegetables are so good for our health and therefore good for our skin.

- I’m not macrobiotic, organic, vegetarian or vegan. What I do try to do is eat as much as possible, food that doesn’t come from a packet. Sometimes I’ll remember back through the day’s offerings and see what percentage was good, real food. My goal for my daily diet is to be ‘normal’.

- Think happy thoughts. What thoughts we have on the inside shows on the outside. Worry shows up on our faces, as does bitterness and fear. Learn to live lightly and let things go. I try not to hold onto things. I have a hard time not feeling guilty (for real and imagined past events, big or tiny) and am working on that. What I tell myself is it is the best I could have done at the time and I can’t go back and change it now by worrying.

- Sit up straight. Our circulation is better when we aren’t slouching and that carries nutrients to our skin.

- By the same circulation token – do some gentle exercise. A walk around the block each day is better than nothing. Take deep breaths whilst walking, and notice the beautiful trees, flowers, grass and sky around you. Even a grey thundery sky is beautiful in my eyes and you can take an umbrella with you. Walking is good for your body and the meditation which comes with stepping is great for your wellbeing and calmness.

- Having a simple routine of stretches each day is good for you too. Most days I lie on the floor and stretch my fingers and toes in opposite directions. The days I attend a yoga class I feel the best of all. I think yoga might just be the fountain of youth and wellbeing. A goal I have for myself is to work out my own little yoga routine (maybe half an hour?) and do it each day at home.

- Having down time and doing what you love. Having time to be ‘be’ and potter is so beneficial to my happiness and therefore my health and therefore my skin.

- Having lots of lovely quality sleep. When I go to bed at a reasonable hour and have a good night’s sleep I can see on my face in the morning that my skin looks rested and plumped up from a night of good moisturiser and calmness. When I’ve been out late, like on Friday night to a family 21st which saw me climbing into bed near midnight after four glasses of Chardonnay... well my skin took on a wax dummy tone on Saturday morning. Now I am in my forties I know which one I prefer!

I would love to hear your favourite ways to be good to yourself and good to your skin.

We've Moved Starting a Law Firm!!!

We've moved this blog over to our own site - you can find it by clicking the link - How to Start a Law Firm.

Join us over there for new posts, new info, and new great discussions.

Also, if you've subscribed to this feed, I think you'll have to start subscribing to the new one - this one won't work any more.

Thanks!

How a Writing Partner--or a Writers' Group--Can Help You Finish Your Book

Finding a writing partner is like finding gold.  A solo journey to writing a book--or just making time for regular writing practice--can be hard.  I've worked with a writing partner for many years, and we meet monthly by phone to report on our writing progress and set goals for the month.  My writing partner holds me accountable and gives me encouragement when I feel blue about my creativity.  I found my writing partner via a writers' group that disbanded; she and I stayed in contact and decided to start our partnership.  It's morphed over the years as our writing needs have changed.  We're both working on books, and we both believe our partnership has helped us keep going.

Lynn and Carole are two blog readers who live in the Midwest.  They are writing partners.  After my book, Your Book Starts Here, was published, Lynn asked if it could be used as a weekly study guide for writing partners or book study groups. Of course! I said.  

Over the year since my book was released, Lynn has updated me on their progress.  They have been steady about using the book to help their writing partnership (and their writing!) grow.  

Such a support team is inspiring--and I thought you might like knowing how to put one together for yourself.  I asked them a few questions about their writing partnership.

How long have you been writing? Are either of you working on a book--and what kind?
Lynn:  I have been writing (letters) since grade school and dabbled around with stories in my early thirties.  In 1993 I attended a seminar/writing conference in Minnesota where I started taking writing more seriously.

Coincidentally I met Carole at this seminar and we realized we both lived in St. Louis. Carole’s been dreaming up stories for years. She started writing in junior high school when a teacher inspired her with creative writing assignments. When Carole recently moved out of state, we wanted to keep checking in with one another. So when Your Book Starts Here came out, we both knew we’d want to use it for the stories we were working on--and for future stories.

How long have you been writing partners, and how often do you meet?

We started helping each other with writing a long time ago, but we began working together with your book in July 2011. We check in with one another on a weekly basis. We decided to work together on a chapter each month in Your Book Starts Here. 

We stay flexible; sometimes we need to spend more time on a chapter, so we will. Or if we get through a chapter sooner, that’s fine too. Of if something comes up on either of our ends and we can’t finish, we don’t punish ourselves!

How has your writing changed from using a writing book as a study guide?

Having a book on writing to follow is a great tool.

I’m not structured at all when it comes to writing a story. I can’t do outlines, etc., but Your Book Starts Here helped me see that it’s not as scary as I thought. Carole is all about structure and outlining, so freewriting and "island" writing in Your Book Starts Here was a new approach for her. We have different writing styles and have been able to help each other in that way.

When you try the writing exercises, do you have favorites--ones that have helped your writing the most?

A hard question!  We are only on Chapter 10, so we haven’t gotten through them all yet.

Lynn liked Chapter 4, p. 53,  "Letter to Inner Critic" – since she struggles with the Inner Critic and since she love to write letters.  She says she needs to do it more often! Carole liked this exercise too, not realizing how powerful the Inner Critic was and how inhibiting.

Lynn also liked p. 25 "Following the Unexpected" and p. 78 "My Life and My Writing," which asks you to list the minimum requirements to keep a writing practice going in your life.

Lynn:  I started using this book with a completed rough-draft manuscript in hand. I thought I could skip ahead and figure out what I needed to do to make it better. When I read a chapter where I thought I could start at, I realized I needed to go back to the chapter before. Once I got to that chapter, I again had to go back to the previous chapter.

It finally became evident that I needed to start right from the beginning. This has been a bit of a challenge—applying things to an already written story… like Chapter 10 which focuses on working with Acts 1, 2 and 3.

I had a hard time figuring out where those were in my story. But with Carole’s help and talking through it, I started to understand and then could see more clearly where the different acts were in the story.  Having a writing partner to work with has made all the difference!


Anything you'd recommend to other writers who want to get support for their writing, or use Your Book Starts Here as a study guide?

Lynn:  I’d imagine you could use this book on your own if you wanted, but I think it’s really helpful to have at least one other person you can work with because you can bounce things off one another—especially if you’re styles of writing are different like Carole and mine.

What works for me sometimes doesn’t work for Carole, but when we talk through the process she can see how it could work for her, and vice versa.

Also by going through the book with someone, it holds you accountable.

As a writer—especially a new one—you can easily get discouraged or distracted and put it away if you don’t get it. By working with someone, there’s less chance of giving up—it’s like you’re encouragement and inspiration for one another—just like the book.

It may take us a while to get through Your Book Starts Here, but I think having it as a guide will help it along faster than trying to write the book alone, and will ensure that it will get finished. When I’m finished with all my “in progress” manuscripts, I’ll be excited to use this book for a fresh idea.

Your Weekly Writing Exercise

1.  Consider the benefits of a writing partnership.  Is there someone who might support you in your writing journey?  A fellow book writer, especially?  Take one step toward exploring this idea this week.

2.  Visit Carole and Lynn's blogs--they are wonderful.  

Lynn: Present Letters
http://lynnobermoeller.blogspot.com/

Carole: Lasting Impressions
http://letterpressdaughter.blogspot.com/

Rely on your back catalogue #8

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

- Lunch Menu -

Hellenic Mussels Braised in Vintage Burgundy

A delicate, piquant, confusing dish, evocative in equal parts of Mediterranean hubris and earthy, unfulfilling intercourse. Not suitable for vegans or recovering alcoholics.

Symmetrical Loins of Highland Quail Served on a Bed of Virgin Spinach and Celeriac Hearts

Our chef’s exacting standards for this dish demand that we source only the finest cuts of quail from a small farm high in the Hebridean hills, where the verdant fields of swaying heather lend a unique fragrance to the proprietor’s firm and matronly breasts.

Non-Sequential Unmarked Fillets of Manatee Presented Somewhat Obsequiously, as if to Atone for Some Previous Unspecified Misdeed

The subtle flavour of manatee is perfectly complemented by the unmistakable zesty overtones of human faeces in this remarkable and altogether unnecessary dish. The characteristic avuncular aroma is due to the inclusion of nine varieties of unidentifiable cheese at the basting stage. This dish has been variously described as “holothurian”, “pancreatic” and “fish”.

Your Pride

In this unique and challenging dish, our Michelin listed chef will come to your table and present you with a mobile telephone, whereupon you will be expected to contact, in chronological order, every single person you have ever met and apologise to each of them in turn for your many failings as a human being. This will include, but will not be limited to: your arrogance, your selfishness, your pretension, your tendency to be an inconsiderate lover, your poor personal hygiene and your staggering, chronic insincerity. This will be followed by coffee and a selection of Baltic cheeses.

A Cure for Writer's Block: Value Writing--A Surprise Post by One of Mary's Editors

Mary is off writing, which is a good thing for a writing teacher to do every now and then. News flash: many writing teachers don’t actually write all that much. Of course they used to. There were the novels, the plays, the essays, the articles. And better yet, payment for their writing. They were “real writers.”

Then …for quite a few of them, the writing sort of dwindled. This may be your story, as well. It’s definitely mine. (I am a former publisher/editor who is hard at work NOT working on a book about Montaigne the writer who invented the personal essay.) 

I have got good excuses. Life gets in the way—there’s all that family, health, laundry. You know, "issues." And in the grand world of employment, writing often does not pay that well. Writing can start to feel like you are building a house on spec, where you use your own hard-earned cash to build a snazzy house in the hopes that when you sell it you will recoup your money and make a pile in royalties. The thing is, I don’t have the money or patience to write on spec. Does that qualify as writer’s block? Not really.

Spec is short for speculation, a noun that can mean “contemplation of a subject” and “engagement in a risky business transaction in the hope of profit from changes in the market price.”

Know anything else that calls for the mutually exclusive acts of contemplation and engagement in an activity in the hopes of big payout from market changes? Hint: it is what I am trying to do right now.

So I got to thinking… why don’t more of us go off and sink some time into our writing like Mary? For the same reason most of us don’t buy shares in a gold mine in Peru. You could make a bundle, but chances are you would lose your shirt. Why? A gazillion reasons--the mine is about to be nationalized; the mine is lying on a fault line; the mine doesn’t even have gold in it, it has silver. When you are trying to sell spec stuff, there is no way to know all the variables. The same goes with writing.

Writing is a risky business. You invest gobs of time, and the upside is a book contract with the six-figure advance. Great! Ah, but the downsides are huge, and here is the kicker: you won’t know why your book didn’t pay out. The reasons are just as specious as the Peruvian mine. For example, the publisher you sent it to says it now wants vampires not zombies, the editor “just” did a book like yours two years ago, the one agent who got back to you said your main character does not have enough “fill-in-blank” adjective, the book group who read it said it was too long, another group said it was too short.

No surprise when risk does not get rewarded, it leads to risk aversion and money gets stuffed under the mattress. When it comes to writing, risk aversion leads to something known as …. wait for it… writer’s block.  How many of us have a book stuffed under our bed? This is not necessarily your fault. It is simply the price you pay when dealing in an unregulated publishing market.

What to do? How do you turn speculation into safety? There are lots of answers, but it has occurred to me recently that maybe it pays to actually discover what the market wants to read. That means attending publishing conferences, marketing seminars on how to sell books. Learn the business from the publisher’s point of view. Learn who their customer really is. Hint: it is not you.

Now here is where it gets weird: while publishers claim they want safety, they secretly pine for the new, the different, the unknown. They want a piece of that risky Peruvian mine. They just want it to be really well written.

What’s a smart writer like you to do? There are a ton of ideas out there, you probably have read all the do’s and don’ts like me. But here is a new “do” idea—do what the most successful investor of all time does. Ignore the market. Warren Buffet could care less about the market’s ups and downs; he invests for the long haul. And only in those companies that have a significant competitive advantage over its competitors. He calls this advantage the "economic moat," and the wider a company’s moat, the more valuable the company. The trick is figuring out what a company has going for it that sets it apart from its competitors. For Warren, his value investing called for a new type of analysis that requires some number crunching and a whole lot of gut checking.

Value Writing--The Cure for Writer's Block
The cure for writer’s block could be something remarkably similar: value writing. Perhaps the problem is not with the writing, but the way we analyze our writing. Maybe all we need to do is to start asking better questions about our work.

Start with the basics: what you like to read and why. Do you read to escape from the everyday drudgery? Do you read to learn something new? To be moved by the actions of complex characters?

Before you can write to be read, you need to start asking tougher questions about your story. What moved you so much it you found yourself writing it down? Was it the drama? The complex characters? Solving a mystery? Wanting to share family legacies? Does this come across in your own writing? If not, why not? What does come across in your writing? If you are answering these questions truthfully, you should start to feel a little buzz of energy about now.

Now get ready for the really big value-illuminating question: what is the question your book is attempting to answer? (I can see your eyes starting to cross. Knock it off!) For a book to have value it needs to ask at least one really compelling question and then answer it. Will Oliver Twist grow up to live a long and healthy life? Can a white would-be writer manage to tell the story of two black maids in the deep south in the 1960s? Does knowing the personal history of Henrietta Lacks shed new light on how we look at cancer research? Yes, yes, and yes.

Does your opus have a compelling question? If you stopped writing it midway through, I can almost guarantee that it doesn’t. Hence the writer’s block.  Get on our knees, and dig out your manuscript from under the bed. Blow off the dust bunnies, and see if you can’t find that question. Once you do, the drive to answer it will fuel your writing and add a whole lot of moat to your work.

Our guest blogger is a former editor with a large book publishing company.  She was also the editor for Mary's newest book, Your Book Starts Here, for which Mary is eternally grateful. 

Rely on your back catalogue #7

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

WARNING!

Any baggage left unattended will be removed

and destroyed, no matter how unlikely it is that

fanatical terrorists waging a holy war against

Western civilisation would conceal an explosive

device in a bright pink Miffy rucksack.

Rely on your back catalogue #6

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

From: opportunity

To: temp-032@alton-associates.co.uk

Subject: 1,800,000 USD For You

Message:

Dear Friend,

I know this might seem a bit unlikely, but I’m a Nigerian Prince in need of your help.

You see, I’ve got approximately $1,800,000 in the form of oil company shares, but it’s all tied up in this quite complicated arrangement to do with inheritances and military coups; I won’t bore you with the details. To cut to the chase, I need you to help me get this money out of the country.

I know you must be wondering why I approached you. After all, you have no formal connection with the Nigerian government and precious little experience of international money laundering. Surely, you ask yourself, I could have used my political contacts to find a more suitable business partner – a diplomat, perhaps, or the CEO of a multinational company. However, I can assure you that, of all the options open to me, picking an email address at random from a softcore pornography website’s mailing list did genuinely present itself as the most logical course of action in this delicate situation.

I know this might seem like an uncertain incentive, but in return for your help in this matter, I can promise you by way of reward all the money that this sum will accrue in the form of interest during the time it will take to complete the transfer. I don’t know how your high-street bank’s graduate account deals with things like international banker’s drafts for almost two million dollars, but I imagine you’ll probably make about $50,000 from the transaction.

Here’s where it gets a bit embarrassing. You see, there are certain technicalities with a transaction of this size which must be taken into account. The paperwork involved is frankly bewildering and I’m sure you don’t want to know all the ins and outs of it. Suffice it to say, I’m going to need you to send me $300 just to ‘get the ball rolling’, so to speak. This is to cover admin costs, postage etc. and is no cause at all for suspicion.

I appreciate that you might be sceptical. After all, if I’m a Nigerian Prince with almost two million dollars at my disposal, why can’t I afford $300 for admin costs? Believe me, I’m as confused as you are to find myself in this odd and, let’s be honest, highly unlikely situation. However, this is where I find myself, the rightful heir to the throne of a large and relatively prosperous African nation – sending emails to strangers asking for small amounts of money in order to buy stamps and padded envelopes. In your position, I would no doubt be sceptical as well.

All I would ask you to do is to place yourself in my shoes for a second and consider what constitutes the right course of action. All I’m asking is that you give a few moments of your time to help a fellow human being in need and consequently make $50,000 tax free. Is that really too much to ask? If you decide that you cannot help me, I will regretfully bid you farewell and move onto the next email address on my list – I feel certain that there is someone on the wildwetwhores.com mailing list who can help me. What I will say, though, is that this kind of arrangement can be reciprocal. So, when you next find yourself with $1,800,000 you need to get out of the country, I hope you won’t hesitate to contact me for help.

All the best,

A Nigerian Prince.

Having Beautiful Skin – part 1

Image

Pampering my skin is one of my favourite ways to nurture my spirit. From morning until evening there are many opportunities to stop and take care of some aspect of my toilette.

It’s not what you do once in a while that counts, but what you do on a regular basis. And if you do them often enough they become habit and you don’t forget. You then reap the rewards later in life when your skin is glowy and smooth.

Here are just some of the ways I pamper my skin – from the outside:

- A quick rinse-off of my face in the shower in the morning followed by a thorough cleanse with a small amount of foaming cleanser. When I have dried off I pat on alcohol-free toner and a good moisturiser. I put SPF 15 on the top of this. Layering is something I do morning and night. A thin layer of two different types of moisturiser feels better to me than one. And my skin drinks it in.

- Applying body lotion to my whole body after my morning shower. I go through a lot of body lotion but it’s worth it. Trying different lotions and scents is fun. If I used the same lotion month in month out I would get bored. I bought a bottle of grapeseed oil from the cooking section of the supermarket and have been adding a little to my body lotion and then shaking in. I have done the same with olive oil before too and it makes the lotion much richer.

- Applying sun protection to my décolletage every morning, summer and winter.

- Applying body butter or body cream to my décolletage before retiring in the evening.

- Putting a vitamin e cream or oil on my melanoma scar on the back of my leg. My cat rescue friend advised this. She has surgery scars that are 20 years old and said they are almost invisible due to vitamin e cream. Maybe time helps the colour of scars but why take any chances.

- Try not to frown. I have been tempted by Botox a few times but, well the cost puts me off. Probably if it was free I would have tried it by now! I also looked into Frownies but in the end decided to just not frown, which is what Frownies train you to do. So during the day (when I think about it) I focus on relaxing my face, imagining what my forehead might be like if I had Botox (smooth) and ‘pull’ my eyebrows apart. Yoga taught me that your intentions help your muscles, even if in infinitesimally small ways, so it will be doing something. And the small line I noticed on my forehead and the two between my eyebrows seem better and definitely not worse.

- Taking pleasure in cleansing my face at night. I use a thick creamy lotion and massage this into my face. I have a facial tissue at the ready and a basin of quite warm water run, with a fine cotton flannel in it (I use a fresh one every night). When I have massaged my face well but gently, including my eye makeup, I start tissuing it off. When I have removed all the cleansing cream I wash my face with the flannel and warm water. The flannel is wrung out until almost dry and I exfoliate whilst I clean my face too. After this I apply my layers of evening time lotions and eye cream. I don’t use a toner at night as my face is still damp. I change my products when I need a new one but they are always reasonable in cost and often from the supermarket or chemist rather than the glamorous beauty counters. Currently I am using a mix of Weleda, Skinfood, Natio and Neutrogena. At the moment my cleansing lotion is a lightly scented body lotion with grapeseed oil added. I thought I would try it when I ran out of cleansing lotion and it hasn't been detrimental. It's a lot cheaper too!

- Along with my décolletage moisturising at night I apply a lip balm to my lips and some lavender oil to my wrists before bed. Delicious.

- Say no to mineral oil (or huile minerale, even though they are French words, doesn’t fool me!) and denatured or SD alcohol. Both are terrible for skin.

- I keep hand lotion everywhere so I use it often. Choose light ones that sink in quickly so you won’t be put off using them on the go. I have a tube in the car door for when I’m a passenger, a pump bottle by the sink at work, some in the living room by my stack of magazines, by my bed, in the bathroom... Everywhere.

- Edited to add: I almost forgot about foundation. I read in Joan Collins beauty secrets book that she believes foundation protects your skin and wearing it helps keep you looking younger. Well I don't wear as much as Joan, but since the age of 14 I have always worn a tinted moisturiser or light foundation. It makes sense that this creates a barrier between your skin and the environment.

So I’m sure you have gotten by now that the main things I do for my skin are cleanse well (in a way that suits your skin type), and moisturise a lot. Make it enjoyable and treat these times like a spa and you will want to do it.

Making something enjoyable, whether it’s budgeting, eating healthfully or looking after your skin is the secret to being able to maintain it every day. For example, I like to make our bathroom spa-like by keeping it clean and putting out fresh towels regularly.

Next time, part two of Having Beautiful Skin will focus on pampering your skin from the inside.

Rely on your back catalogue #5

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

Teddy’s SMS Loans

From £5  to  £100,000

Looking for a low-cost loan but too busy getting into all that debt to pick up the phone? No worries! Teddy’s SMS Loans are the solution!

Great! How does it work?

Simply text your name, the amount you wish to borrow, the names of all the most important people in your life and your bank account details to 82666. We’ll do the rest. 

That seems a little too easy…

It is! Our expert team of computer ‘experts’ are able to find out any information we need to know about you from your bank account details. If banks have already run complicated, lengthy checks, there’s no need for us to bother! You’ll have the money in your account the next working day!

Why do you need to know how many loved ones I have?

To determine how much money we can lend you. SMS Loans isn’t one of those scary finance companies that takes away people’s cars or houses. You don’t need a car or a house to get a loan with us. You don’t even need a job or a regular income. If for some reason you can’t keep up your payments, one of our ‘guys’ will pay a visit to one of your loved ones and see if we can’t find a solution. If the problem persists, we’ll visit the next one on your list and so on and so on. The more loved ones, the more money you can borrow. Simple.

Don’t I need to sign something?

What is this, the dark ages? Signatures are a thing of the past. These days, entering into a life-changing legal agreement is as easy as coughing at an auction. By texting your loan request to 82666, you automatically duck most of the red tape the government puts in the way of loan requests. Just see the “send” button as the dotted line and your thumb as all the legal advice you’ll ever need.

And you’ve got great interest rates, right?

Of course we have. We love our interest rates. Don’t you think if we were going to rip you off we’d have made our logo a picture of Hitler or something? You’re busy – you haven’t got time to go and check all this stuff out, so just pick up your phone right now and Trust the Teddy!

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Rely on your back catalogue #4

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

SITCOM CENTRAL

05:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

05:30 Dougie, Howard & Beth

06:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

06:30 Don’t Go There

07:00 Upside Town

07:30 Dougie, Howard & Beth

08:00 Five Kids And A Dog Called Jack

08:30 Five Kids And A Dog Called Jack

09:00 Capital Punishment

09:30 Capital Punishment

10:00 Rodeo Dad

10:30 Dougie, Howard & Beth

11:00 Rodeo Dad

11:30 Don’t Go There

12:00 Rodeo Dad

12:30 Upside Town

13:00 Four Kids And A Dog Called Jack

13:30 Don’t Go There

14:00 Don’t Go There

14:30 Don’t Go There

15:00 Don’t Go There

15:30 Don’t Go There

16:00 Don’t Go There

16:30 Don’t Go There

17:00 Capital Punishment

17:30 Don’t Go There

18:00 Don’t Go There

18:30 Don’t Go There

19:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

All hell breaks loose when Beth finds a family of immigrants living in her garage and Dougie gets a new job at the Homeland Security Department.

(R) (S) 3073-5466-112

19:30 Capital Punishment

There’s a new face on death row when Frank’s lawyer lets him down. Unfortunately, as love-struck Jimmy is about to find out, Frank isn’t the only one who’s lost his appeal.

(R) (S) 8492-6066-320

20:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

Howard is having trouble adjusting to his new gender, while Beth and Dougie have been misdiagnosed with each other’s cancers after a mix-up at the hospital.

(R) (S) 0065-9811-002

20:30 Don’t Go There

In an act of cruel and premeditated brutality, Latisha forces Chantelle to “talk to the hand”. There’s also a tedious subplot involving  a lost cat.

(R) (S) 5444-9007-656

21:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

The gang are caught up in a tense hostage situation and for some reason, Dougie is suffering from uncontrollable flatulence. The whole things smacks of lazy writing.

(R) (S) 2047-6340-812

21:30 Rodeo Dad

After 136 episodes, Mikey has finally begun to suspect that his father is in fact a professional rodeo clown in this unfunny and ill-thought-through sitcom.

(R) (S) 2210-8654-000

22:00 Don’t Go There

Oh God, this one again. Well, the plot is pretty much the same every time, so my summary becomes superfluous if you’ve ever had the misfortune to see an episode.

(R) (S) 2020-5478-941

22:30 Upside Town

I mean, have you actually watched these things? Have you ever actually sat down and watched them? Week after week, episode after episode. It’s just relentless.

(R) (S) 8005-7403-997

23:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

A misunderstanding takes place. One character is hilariously camp and makes innuendos. Someone repeats someone else but changes the word order slightly. There must be more to life than this.

(R) (S) 1111-4723-067

23:30 Capital Punishment

I mean, what’s it all for? What’s it actually for, this stuff? What is it supposed to do? I can’t remember the last time I laughed. I mean, a real, honest belly-laugh that makes you feel that everything might just be alright after all. What happened to them? I’m sure I used to laugh.

(R) (S) 6300-8726-771

00:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

Is it only me, or does everyone feel like this? When did we stop laughing? When did “comedy” become a genre instead of a device and lose all its power? These things aren’t comedy. They aren’t funny. They don’t make life better.

(R) (S) 1010-7465-333

00:30 Rodeo Dad

Mikey spooks the horses whilst rehearsing for the big talent show. Steve loses his hat. Miranda discovers she is pregnant. But who’s the father?

(R) (S) 8349-0766-150

01:00 Don’t Go There

01:30 Three Kids And A Dog Called Jack

02:00 Capital Punishment

02:30 Two Kids And A Dog Called Jack

03:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

03:30 Don’t Go There

04:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth

04:30 Two Kids And The Tattered Remains Of A Collar